I picked the wrong hobby.

Nm

Meetup.com usually has a bunch of backpacking groups. The people you meet on there will probably know some good places to backpack that you didn't know about.

Don't be scared to go out alone. Choose a short trip with an easy bail out and a guarantee of good weather. Not much can go wrong with that. Once you get a few easy trips under your belt you can get more ambitions.

No comment on the 2 legged fears.

If it was my only option I wouldn't have a problem driving 3 hours for an overnight.

If you haven't made it work then maybe the desire is not really there. Why are you all not going? Plenty of BPLrs bring children younger than 2 with them. Practice your backcountry skills car camping with the family. Go solo when you are confident. Fear lessens as confidence/experience build. 3 hours is a common distance.

In most parts of the country, there are at least one or two backpacking clubs. Once you figure out the right one for you, contact one of the leaders and offer to go along on one of their trips as an assistant. That might mean organization, cooking, or being a rear leader on the trail. In most clubs, they will not ignore an offer like that. Later, you may be qualified as a leader yourself.

–B.G.–

I can empathize!

My biggest obstacle to getting out is finding other women to go with. I have one buddy, but she's quite a drive away in WA. A couple other candidates, but none of those have come through yet. I signed up for a meetup group — but it's clearly not lightweight.

Yeah, a small child in the mix will change things. FWIW, I started getting back to backpacking when my youngest was three (spring '13). What got me out was signing up for a guided trip.

I would eventually like to do solo trips, but right now I (and my spouse) really want that margin of safety, be it real or perceived.

Ohio — I've spent a few years west of Cleveland, but not when I was interested in backpacking.

I'd say the driving is the factor that will have to give. If you find someone to go with, and a good place to go, just get yourself there!

In all likelihood the kid thing will get much, much easier. Or at least easier in ways that make heading out of town OK (while harder in others…).

Does your wife have things she would like to get away to do? If getting away is hard cause you don't want to leave her alone w/kid — and if she's at a point or of a mindset where she'd be up for a night or two away — encourage her to go! My husband has stuff he likes to do, so we found a happy equilibrium of him going of to "guitar camp" and me going off on backpacking trips.

Good luck!

I don't get it.

We took our 6 month old backpacking with us. We went to Little Yosemite Valley and the next day went up Half Dome. We didn't go UL and we didn't go far, but we went. I carried all of the used diapers out, but that was just part of the trip.

You can do basically anything you want so I do not see the problem.

My 2 cents,

Jon

Hmmm.

I drive 12hrs, or if flying up to 2000 miles, just to go hike by myself.

Pick a busy trail, and just go. You WONT be alone unless you want to be. Take a PLB if it makes you feel better. Hiking is really a solo thing, two people rarely hike together, even if they do camp together. Paces just don't match that well.

With few exceptions, other people are generally a PITA if they are tethered to you.

You seem to be determined to think up reasons why you can't go. I don't want to be alone. I don't want too many people around. There's places close by, but they are not quite right (even though I've never seen them). Places that are not close by are too far away.

Either quit and stop moaning about it, or just get of your ass and go hiking – somewhere, anywhere. Motivation doesn't always precede action. I suspect that you DO love hiking, or you wouldn't have embarked on your equipment spree. But I don't think that you'll remember why you love hiking, or work out what kind of hiking you love, by sitting at home. Sometimes the path isn't obvious beforehand, and you just need to take action and work things out along the way.

re not seeing the problem

Well, if you're already an experienced backpacker, going out with the kid might be easy. But if you're not, it's daunting. I had delusions I was going to go backpacking with a babe. But when the time came I hadn't really gotten my chops up, and no way no how. Also if the spouse doesn't have the same intensity of interest…and car camping can be a downer if you really want to be backpacking.

re solo

Yeah, that might have to give too. Next season I may get impatient and end up going solo. I've been doing some long day hikes by myself — which sort of makes me question: what's so different about staying out overnight? Arguably my biggest risks would be the same I'd encounter on an ambitious day hike.

Some friends of mine have been taking their child on overnight trips in the mountains ever since the kid was about six months. When the kid got heavy and still had to be carried halfway, they recruited me to help carry gear. Now the kid is 11 or so and can carry all of the gear.

Just go.

–B.G.–

OK, solo overnight is not a good idea for beginners.
How about solo day walks? Start conservative, with half-day outings. Become practiced at navigation. Get comfortable.
And just maybe, once that is a shade under control, take wife AND baby on short day walks? Leave time for baby play somewhere nice.

Cheers

That (3 hour drive), is a poor excuse to not do something you love or want to do. Wake up at 3 am..leave at 4 and be at trail head by 7-7:30 am? Sounds pretty good to me. I would knock that off my list of reasons why I can't go backpacking. Now, I have 3 young children also..12,8 and 7…I know that dilemma all too well. At one time they too were much younger, lol. I started taking them out with me at age 5. I understand it's hard leaving the wife home alone with them, so if she is the problem, I can't help you with that one..The 2 of you need to work that out together. Aside from the warden giving me a hard time about leaving for a night, I always make it work. Don't be afraid to go solo..and don't blame a 3 hour drive on not being able to get out. Geeze..I have a 2.5 hour commute EACH WAY, to work everyday!!

Coincidentally there’s an active thread about a Northeast Trip – November 13-16 if that timing works for you. I know at least two of the participants are coming from the Cleveland area so carpooling is an option.

The other option you have is to get a friend with whom you enjoy spending time and take them with you, even if they’re new to backpacking. I’ve developed a great group of five guys as a pool of backpacking partners. Sometimes all of them can make a trip, other times it’s only a couple, but it gets me out.

I feel your pain feeling stuck at home with a 2-year old, but there is hope. I have twin girls who just turned eight, but I started taking them when they were just four: Four Preschoolers on the AT

For their birthday I bought them new packs…They’re ready to head out again!

After reading my op, I think I should clarify a bit. I don't mind driving three hours to go backpacking. It's just too long to be able to say "hey, I think I'm gonna go backpacking this weekend". It has to be planned on a specific date in advance. We have one car and my wife goes to school. I don't mind renting a car since backpacking is virtually free anyhow (after buying gear of course) but it's hard to commit to a date. Something ways comes up and plans have to be cancelled. Whether it be a backpacking trip or something else. So my point was I can't just go after work on drift for a quick overnight and be back home for breakfast the next day. Which would be ideal to get some practice and experience. The other hung, it is a little scary knowing I'm three hours away from anyone that knows where I am. Though, as mentioned, a plb would help with that.
And going solo is something I definitely will do. I hate to even think about going with other people but it's something I'll do a few times till I'm confident enough to go alone. My trip last year was with the club I mentioned and the whole time I had to listen to a woman complaining about her boyfriend who walked ahead too far. Plus they walked so fast I was exhausted by the time I got to camp. We started at 8:00am and it was a 5 mile hike. Where's the fire? I enjoyed it for the most part anyhow but geez.
My wife is ok if I go once a month though I would feel slightly bad leaving her alone with baby while she's got studying and homework.
And I'm sure I make up excuses sometimes but it's easy when you're discouraged. I mean, I spent $800 on all this stuff and then realize I need to spend a few hundred more on a plb so i can go hiking. Where does it end? All I ever wanted was to just walk through the woods a few hours and set up a tent when I got tired of walking. I don't need it to be some big production but that's what it is turning into. But at least I got to vent on here a bit. I'll quit whining and just go.

Kevin, i seen that trip but it's a bit above my fitness level. I could get in better shape for it but I'm having knee surgery on the 25th. And I did have a friend whom insisted he was going to go with me this year. Was supposed to buy some basic stuff for Christmas, then with tax money, then with birthday money… I finally just dropped it. I don't have many other friends and I'm not a big people person. I've always intended to go solo after getting my feet wet. It's just getting to that point is proving harder than I anticipated.

No, you didn't pick the wrong hobby. But, I understand how commitments are and how things can change with a kid. We had two we would take out into the woods. They kind'a grew up with camping and still drag the poor old dad out for a week at a time. Still the mule, at least these have turned into light weight trips. Our eldest daughter had her first bear encounter when she was just over a year old. My youngest at 5mos.

Solo hiking is about the same as group hiking, except you get the freedom to stop where you want and hike till you find someplace interesting to linger a bit. Hiking into camp, setting up and the rest are more difficult. There is no one to share the burden of these things. Cooking for two is easier, because you get the luxury of having the help with preparing, or cooking, or setting up the tent, or gathering firewood, or something. A family is a bit harder because of the fairly frequent stops to feed, change, and otherwise entertain the little ones. Older kids are different. Trust me, you will WANT to head out solo! (kidding)

Don't talk about it, just do it. One or two nights will get you away from the grind. Bring you wife a present when you return. She won't mind.

Steve,
Rightly or wrongly, you're not going to get a whole lot of sympathy here. Many BPLers have the disposable income to make trips happen regardless, others structure their lives around getting outside, either by avoiding complications like kids or making it a family affair. In other words, your obstacles don't seem like obstacles to them. However, you have to work from where you are. Do you really want to get out? Do you benefit from it? Then you have to figure out what is really keeping you from doing it. Some of your roadblocks are reality and some are in your mind. I would suggest trying to sort those out and tackling them appropriately.

I went on my first backpacking trip solo. Actually, all my trips during my first year of backpacking were solo! They were easy trips though. I typically "scouted" out areas on long day hikes, getting to know where water sources and camp sites were, even talking to some backpackers I saw on the trail. I then did overnighters to these areas during good weather. By linking up trails I had day-hiked before, I had the confidence to get out. After a year of backpacking solo, I introduced other friends of mine to backpacking and started going on longer trips to new places.

Assuming you have a car, a 3 hour drive is a small barrier to getting out. Just try some easy to trips to familiar areas to build up your confidence.

I drive three hours Friday night, start hiking in the dark, and marathon back to the car on Sundays and drive three hours home, some weekends. If the trip won't fit into two days.

Two or three hours one way is about what I expect to drive for any hike, including day hikes, since I live in a flat, hot desert and am extremely sensitive to heat (not to mention I don't like being accosted by gang members or pit bulls – gotta love Fresno).

I have been enduring a horrible job. I could make the case that sleeping and recovering at home should take priority as should not spending all the money driving or eating out on the way to/from trailheads.

I cringe a little now when people suggest meetup groups – I've met all my current wonderful hiking buddies that way, but have suffered so much woe and drama due to the lack of the ability to truly screen out wackos and selfish a-holes from meetup hikes (they lie, like rugs, some of them, saying they can do 10 miles/day and failing to tell you that was how it was 30 years ago and today they are sporting a steel-sided knee brace and go a really consistent .02 miles per hour with plentiful breaks). A well run meetup can be wonderful – and still have jerks and creeps in it. I do organize trips with two meetups, one a backpacking group and one an all-around hiking group that does mostly day hiking. I've gotten less sympathetic and less forgiving as the years go by. People have allllllll kinds of excuses for why they hogged a spot on a hike and then just didn't show up. Endlessly, before hikes, people will say "I need to be back in Fresno by 3 pm" – and the hike will be a three hour drive away, and I get absolutely fried when they whine when I say NO, WE WILL NOT BE BACK because I'm sorry, I have no way of providing you with a friggin' jet plane ride! it is a six hour hike minimum, a six hour round trip driving, and traffic sucks in Yosemite to begin with, likely turning it into a four hour drive instead, and just make your decision in time to let someone on the waiting list know they can go already! We have waiting lists of up to 30 people for our hikes and they yell about it when rude people fail to change their RSVP and we end up with 10 people who actually got off their rumps and went.

Lately, there have been all kinds of shenanigans with forest fires. I could just cancel trips, but I drive another hour and go somewhere else.

I have a dog who loves to hike. She can't go to national parks. I get a pet sitter and pay through the nose and GO ANYWAY because the same old trails get old.

And you know what? I'm going hiking next weekend, after getting back from a trip with a trail crew this past weekend. And then we are going camping and hiking on the coast the following weekend. A bunch of the folks I am going with will be bringing their kids and non hiking spousal units. I may complain about driving or the nutjob who ends up in the next campsite, but I'll be on the beach on September 20 and backpacking on Tioga Pass the first weekend of October all the same. Because I remember that once I am on the trail I am happy, and during the week I am a better person because of it.

If you aren't a better person because of the hiking, perhaps it is time to acknowledge that it is just not really your "thing" and not complain.

"Do you really want to get out? Do you benefit from it? Then you have to figure out what is really keeping you from doing it. Some of your roadblocks are reality and some are in your mind. I would suggest trying to sort those out and tackling them appropriately."

+100

This is the real problem: Motivation.

If you are TRULY MOTIVATED to do something, nothing will stop you; if you are not truly motivated, any little excuse will do.

Steve Z, you've gotten plenty of advice and encouragement to kick-start your effort, if it is what you REALLY want to do.

It is up to you to address the physical problems (fix knee, get in shape with a firm diet/exercise plan), have a frank discussion with your wife about your desires/ambitions and then form a plan to do dayhikes, quick overnighters to "test-camp" and on to more logistically complex group outings.

Nike got it right: JUST DO IT

" I need to spend a few hundred more on a plb so i can go hiking" This is crazy. You don't need all this kind of stuff to go backpacking. If you don't have friends, you can do a solo overnight close enough to your car that you can easily bail out. Get more comfortable and take your family. Backpacking can be a pretty simple walk/camp. Don't over do it.

Or just pick up home brewing and sell your gear here on gear swap.

A few hints/tips.

Renting a car is easy and in most cities can be done with little or no notice, especially if you are near an airport. If you haven't already sign up for a customer loyalty program with a conveniently located car rental program. It will save you a bit, and makes it easier to rent a car on short notice.

Pick the car up the day before, either on your way to work or after, whichever is convenient. Costs a bit more, but renting a car is actually pretty affordable for a couple of days.

Schedule two weekends a month, one for you to do what you want, one for your wife. Yes, sometimes things come up and you may wind up cancelling or rescheduling, but it is more likely to happen if it is on the calendar.

Keep your gear organized and ready to go. I have a box with my basic overnight gear in it so I can pack quickly for a trip. If an opportunity pops up I can be packed up and ready to go by the time a partner comes by to pick me up. Same thing for my climbing gear. A couple of boxed or plastic bins are perfect for this.

Look for partners online. Post messages here and on any local hiking message boards. Ask around at work, and your friends and acquaintances, you may find an interested partner.

Solo backpacking is not as bad as you think. lol. Keep the trip short, many trails have great camps within a mile or two of the trailhead so you are close to your car if things don't go well. Once you go out alone a couple of times, you may find you get hooked. Short trips are also good for taking the kids.

Dayhike. Ok it is not what you bought all the gear for, but it is easier logistically to go out for a day and it is time in the woods hiking and gaining skills. Use these trips to plan for your next overnight, you will feel a bit more comfortable as you can be going to an area you are a little familiar with.

Best of luck!

Day hike! There have been many times when I couldn't get out for multi-day trips, but there were lots of opportunities for day hiking. You just miss out on sleeping on the ground :)

Day hikes are the opportunity to improve your physical conditioning, add skills, and test your clothing system. You can afford the weight of field guides and cameras too.

When our kids were small, we car camped and used the car camping destination as base camp for day hikes. We started car camping when our oldest was just a few mints old— born in early February and just right for that summer. It's actually easier to travel with kids in diapers. We found that toddlers, a van and a porta-potty worked really well— they tend to give "potty warnings" with a 2 minute window.

Knowing what I know now regarding bike travel, toddlers and cargo bikes on flat ground would make for great family camp/travel opportunities. Rail and canal trails are perfect for family bike packing trips. You can link them up with private and park campgrounds or motels. UL backpacking gear and bikes marry perfectly.

"Just do it" is a good slogan, much like Jansport's "Get out, while you can."

I will check out the park near Cleveland. I know the camping spots are easy access to anyone but I realize that doesn't make it a bad thing. I'll call the rangers office and ask if they've had any incidents. That is my only option for a quick overnight trip.
I haven't thought of going to PA or Wayne national forest and just camping close enough to the car to be able to bail. I like that idea. In fact, I like that idea better than going in a trail. I never liked the idea of walking a trail everyone else does to go to a camp where everyone else is camped. I've always been fascinated by just exploring through the woods and camping or making lunch wherever I felt like. I used to love going hunting with my dad when I was little. Just wondering through the woods and coming to a nice little valley with a stream at the bottom. Or a huge area of pine trees opening to a birch covered hill.
Anyhow, my point was, I do have limited opportunities to go. With my wife being in school, a two year old, one car, random unexpected obligations, not many close options, lack of confidence to solo, and no one to go with, it makes it tough. And my post was hopefully to get some ideas I didn't think of. Like staying close to the car or taking long solo day hikes. So thanks for the tips. My surgery isn't till the 25th so I'll try makin it out before then.