Unwritten Rules of Backpacking with Buddies

I wait for slower people at trail junctions, and places where the trail is hard to follow.

I always carry in all the food for the family.

everyone in camp helps with gathering firewood

Learn to navigate yourself so when I fall off a rock and knock myself silly you can go for help….

Carry some of the fuel instead of assuming I brought enough for you too, and don't be asking me to boil water for you only when we are setting up ten miles from the car…. It's called planning ahead. You were supposed to do that too.

Don't leave the $%^&# bear canister open!

Even if your wife laughs at lightweight gear you had better carry a lot more group gear then her.

Don't be too obvious reminding her that you can pee in 30 seconds while still wearing your pack.

Pretend you have as many mosquito bites as her (who refused permethrin clothing treatment and DEET in favor of lemon-eucalyptus oil)

Man does all the cooking and cleanup.

Your wife might not think the same dish is appropriate for every dinner. Especially if it's mostly made of dried refried beans and dried cheese… if you know what I mean.

Don't let the children get eaten by a puma.

Backpacking food causes a lot of Gas—-Just let it rip–Hold nothing back…Farting is almost a right of passage on the trail– it moves you along.

Don't agree if she asks if the new hiking pants she is wearing make her ass look big.

Dig the cathole for the wifey.

Remove ticks from anywhere. Don't say anything other than OK got it.

Once in cross country, a teammate accidentally spit over his right shoulder….directly into my mouth. NOT COOL. so watch where you spit, especially if its windy.

Warn the group if you are going to be bathing nekkid in a nearby stream, and do it well downstream of camp.

People who snore like a chainsaw….denial doesnt cut it, and its not funny. Camp far away, or get your tent dropped on you at 3am. :)

If you bring some insanely tasty and aromatic food, and your buddies are eating unseasoned beans and rice, be descrete. Cook the bacon downwind, or share.

Nobody wants to smell your feet/socks/shoes after an 8 hour day of hiking. Especially if sharing a tent. Do what ya gotta do.

Digging a cat hole for your wifey….for real?

I backpack alone. No buddies is the rule.

When your 2 friends are going with their Dad and sharing a tent, bring the smallest tent possible for yourself so that when you arrive at the rocky campsite and the trio with the 3-man tent takes the only flat, non-rocky spot within a radius of 2 square miles, you have the most chance of being able to sleep that night LOL (true experience)

Edit: yeah I know what you're going to say, bring a hammock. well those don't work to well above the treeline lol

if 3 men are forced into a 2 man tent; what happens on the trail stays on the trail.

so…of course i haven't done that.

Be flexible. People will often have little paranoias about the woods that you don't have, so just try to accommodate them rather than argue about it.

Don't say anything about your buddy's packweight, especially if yours is really light and can be lifted with one hand and they have to hoist their pack to their knee first before struggling into it. Let the ease of your movements be the quiet advertisement and leave the evangelizing until they actually ask you a question.

Great thread, Jay.

Jim, I hope you aren't speaking from experience: "Don't let the children get eaten by a puma."

"everyone in camp helps with gathering firewood"

…and then double the amount. It always seems to run out at 0300 hrs.

I'm with Nick–go alone and avoid all these problems. I do take my dog–he adjusts his pace to mine (slower) and keeps my feet warm at night!

please put friends on notice with a simple call of "wang out" or something similar when changing boxers, taking a dump, etc

Is that ben wood or bent wood :)

I usually prefer one person tents. I suffer anxiety over gear damage from my friends style/lack of experience in equipment care especially in rain/muddy situations. Also avoids gas, snore, pee issues. I am usually the only one that owns the appropriate gear for the trip. For people that aren't familiar with the shelter configuration,wakening in the night to exit and do their business, gear can get damaged. The gear I provide my friends is a little more robust and thus heavier so no worries. I carry more of the food/group gear to equal the pack weight.

"Digging a cat hole for your wifey….for real?"

Ya know, you always read about guys whining about how the wife won't come along. If a guy needs to do things for her to hike with him, suck it up and be a man. It is like killing bugs at home – that is a man's job. In all honesty, when we backpack together (the husband and I), I do the cooking and cleaning (I like to do it). Part of being a team.

He puts my socks on for me. A win-win.

And oddly, snorers don't bother me. I actually encourage them to plop their tent/shelter next to mine. Why? White noise. It masks everything. I grew up in a house of chainsaw snorers……

Be nice and share?

I've always thought sharing food and alcohol with your friends was the right way to do it…

And what's with all this crazy fear of seeing a friend naked?

I'm with Craig re. sharing.

You can't bring in a treat like beer and not share. It isn't done.

I've only once had a guy in the group pack in beer and not share. We all agreed that the guy was very uncool.

Never really liked that guy much anyway.

Yeah, that is just rude and poor form, you picked the site because it was a good decent location, then spoil it with tinkle for the next hiker to come along and sleep in or on it. Use a urine bottle then dispose of properly in the morning or take a few extra yards to get away from the campsite—can't tell you how many times I hear the call of nature literally at all hours car camping in Yosemite on the valley floor. It is a wonder the Merced River isn't yellow!

"couch"