Unwritten Rules of Backpacking with Buddies

I dunno, sharing beer after humping it on your back all day? Thats a tough one. If I carried it, and had the foresight to bring it, it'd be a tough sell to share. However, one may do better by warning his camping buddies before they hit the trail. "Hey, I'm bringing beer. Beer that I'LL be carrying. If you want some, you should bring some." That way, you told 'em so!

Sarah, looks like you got a good deal going there! I asked my girlfriend if she'd let me dig a cathole for her. Her response? "Why the &#@! would you do that? I'll do it myself, thanks."

There is a rule of thumb that says the distance a man will travel from his tent at night is inversely proportionate to the outside temperature and coupled directly to the frequency.

So if its cold…. and he needs to go multiple times….he'll go closer and closer to the tent!

I am more than happy to share beer…

At the trailhead. I'm open to negotiations too. Just don't tell me you don't wanna carry the extra weight at the trailhead, and then get thirsty on the mountain.

I too really enjoy sharing food and drink at a camp site–I like the Tribe feeling…Most of my Friends usually bring in a specialty dish for the first night.(Happy Hour) I will share my single-malt scotch but not my BEER! Sorry-that's where I draw the line.. But I will share my DEET, First-Aid Kit, TP, Sunblock and Food..

One more thing–If you are going to get water for yourself take every body else's Platypus's with you– Pay it forward—help the tribe.

Jay, you are a great shar-er. Your coffee saved me a headache, your cheese and crackers were a treat

The beer is a sensitive subject. I to like to share, but beer is just to precious and heavy. At the same time, its just no fun to be the only one drinking, and have everybody staring at you like wolves ready to tear you apart. So ive got to agree with Jay about the single malt scotch. I bring it, i am willing to share, but only a few have the sand to swig on Glenifiddich as its passed around the fire. Washing it down with a Guiness, however, is a privilage earned through foresight and willpower.

"I've always thought sharing food and alcohol with your friends was the right way to do it…

And what's with all this crazy fear of seeing a friend naked?"

Right on, Craig. How else could it be?

Methinks we can conclude that not sharing beer is a legitimate personal choice — but does not qualify as an "unwritten rule" — in other words, something that can go either way.

Me also thinks we do not want to see Tom K. nekked… :)

I always ascertain well before the trailhead if others are bringing in drink. If so, I bring some too and we all share. If not, I leave the booze behind.

Sharing meals is fun and efficient if you plan ahead. However I will NOT share a tent with snorers, wrigglers, coughers or noisy flatulent folks. My sleep is sacred.

Umm, nekkidness is just part of the great outdoors. You learn quickly to turn a blind eye.

Always wait at forks in the trail, better yet is to walk and talk with your friends.

I draw the line at carrying someone elses' stuff just because their pack is too heavy though…that is. unless they are injured.

On the assumption you are well acquainted with your companion, share whatever it takes to make the trip a success, within your capabilities. Enen competent, trustworthy backpackers slip up and forget things from time to time. You've got to take care of each other. On one 10 day long ago, my buddy forgot his toothbrush. He was mortified but I held up mine and told him, "We've still got one; what's the problem". And we had a great trip. Whatever it takes.

Craig is right. Sharing is great and a common courtesy. Being a benevolent provider to the less fortunate is a wonderful feeling. As Sarah said, "suck it up and be a man", and being a provider is part of being a man.

But, as Lori said, "It's called planning ahead. You were supposed to do that too." If you didn't bring yours to share, don't feel entitled to mine. If you forgot or didn't know better, I will help you as it is my nature. If you ignored sage advice and you are hungry, cold, or wet, I will still help, but you will remember the experience so that you learn. I expect the same treatment in return, but I bring plenty to barter with.

If you forgot your beer but were first to the campsite, you might want to give Jay the premier real estate. If you forgot your isobutane in the car, cook for Lori and study your map. If you partake in Stefan's bacon, give him your beer. Collecting enough firewood and real estate will satiate me. If I'm not satiated and you drank my Scotch and smoked my Ashtons, I'm not apologizing for the cat hole I forgot to dig in front of your tent.

Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day, set him on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life…

"Umm, nekkidness is just part of the great outdoors. You learn quickly to turn a blind eye."

I don't know about you all….but rarely does anyone I hike with get naked. Being that it is often freezing cold/soggy or bug infested one might see why. Even swimmers often have clothes on in summer – otherwise you get bit!

Hence, when I hike I expect that I won't be seeing naked people cavorting around. You rarely see it up here, remote or short trails. The whole needing to get naked and blinding people with white skin doesn't seem to be a big priority.

"…don't know about you all….but rarely does anyone I hike with get naked."

Your either with the wrong group; or you are with the right group! For better or worse, it appears we are hiking with the same folks.

If they are really your buddies:
1. Share. "You can have half my power bar/dinner."
2. Forgot Something?! "Use mine. What are friends for."
3. Falling behind/Too far ahead? "I will wait for you in the shade/bend up ahead."
4. Feet bothering you? "Tuff luck! Unless of course you are hot or my kid – but you can borrow my first aid kit. Just use it sparingly.
5. Advice is free. "But just when you need it and even if you don't want it – we are buddies!"
6. Want to go home early?! "Bite me! Suck it up! How are you ever going to enjoy this if you can't make it through a bad day?!??!!!?!"
7. Want a sip of my beer?!?! "You had better be carrying your own, because we discussed this in advance. You want to share mine? You are going to have to drink the Root Beer Snaaps too (I love dessert)!!! I hate to have a buzz alone."
8. Pee Bottles are mandatory! "Gatorade bottles are the best though I have seen people who use the yellow Nalgene wide mouthed bottles. I will never drink out of a yellow one again!"
9. Camp chores are for everyone. "Fill the water bottles, gather the wood, set up the tent/tarp or bivy, cook and clean last. get wood. gather as much as you can find in a half hour!"
10. Have fun! "You better have fun with life no matter what. Brining buddies is tuff. Treat them good or don't do it!"

Good luck!

Let me retract, or at least partially discredit my previous statements. We all have certain quips about what should or should not happen in dealing with other people in the making of a memorable journey. But I must say, all this talk of unwritten rules is a bit depressing. They are "unwritten" for a reason. I've said this at least once before on BPL. The beauty of backpacking is that you KNOW you are going to come up against something that you are not set to face, and somehow you find a way to face it. And after having faced such an issue, you can smile about the fact that you managed to face said situation. Thats really what we are all doing here isnt it? We learn from experience, we evolve. In fact, the only way we truely learn is from personal experience. So….lets just see how it goes? We can talk about it all we want, we can share experiences, we can give sound advice…..but the true spirit of adventure is venturing into the unknown. There is a certain peace that comes with walking as far as you can walk, and knowing that you can not only survive in doing so, but actually be far happier than you were 10 or 20 or even 2000 miles ago. It's a de-evolution, a regretion, and its a beautiful thing. Jay, who started the thread, mentioned the word "tribe"…. what a simple and perfect way to describe the whole situation of "unwritten rules" in a single word. Nobody can be totally prepaired for the unknown, but as a tribe, and often as an individual, we can and do face the unknown with a cetain confidence, and in doing so, we learn to conquer not only the unknown, but more inportantly, our own ego. The unknown is only amplified with the addition of members to the tribe. So i say, lets keep it unwritten.

Stefan,

That's beautiful man…can I write that down?

C

"Can I write that down?"

Writing the unwritten. Now we've found ourselves in a dilemma…..who's got single malt scotch again?

But back to the OP…

>Oh Yea-Pick up your trash Dude!

Seriously. I don't really even understand all the garbage in urban settings, but out in the backcountry? C'mon!!! I REALLY REALLY REALLY (did I stress that enough?) don't need to see your garbage. I've got a pristine view of a waterfall/mountain/flower-studded field/etc………with your left over SNICKERS wrapper. Or diaper (I've seen it). Its like throwing poo on the Mona Lisa.

Just me and my dog for the most.

Last time i went with friends i was stunned to see 12 beer bottles melted together in the bottom of our fire pit the next morning.

The sign read "pack it in pack it out".
No place for illiteracy in the backcountry.

It is like killing bugs at home – that is a man's job.

(chuckle) Apparently Sarbar has never met a female entomologist!

And then there was this >100 year old building I once worked in … bats loved it. Everyone held out for significant non-monetary compensation before agreeing to remove a bat until the day that a newly hired woman said "I'll get it, but only if I can keep it and bring it home". Her husband is a biologist and they spent a significant part of their early married life living outdoors collecting all kinds of small mammals that might freak out your average city dweller.

If you're hiking with someone you don't know too well, and they drop behind, wait for them… BUT, don't start walking ahead again as soon as they catch up with you! You've just had a 5 minute rest, but they haven't. Stay WITH them for a few minutes, offer them a sip of H2O or a bite of trail mix, then ask them if they are OK to move on.

Try to hike with a team at about the same fitness/speed level, and with similar objectives and philosophy of backpacking. There's nothing worse than trying to fastpack with a sightseer (or vice versa).

Talk about your navigation & safety systems in advance (will we have a GPS, map & compass etc, who has what safety gear and where do they keep it). Any critical meds in the group? Any diabetics? Important allergies? Who has insulin, epi pens etc?

Everyone should know how to work their own H2O system, cook on their own stove, put up their own tent… seeing someone rip their REI tags off in the backcountry, and having to run after them since they dropped 'em on the ground, is an indicator of an "interesting" trip!

If you have violent nightmares tell your tentmates. Don't let them find out at 2:30 in the morning when you sit up and scream "I'm gonna kill you you sonovabitch!"

I was innocently sleeping when a guy did this. I was fighting to get out of my sleeping bag and trying to remember where the door was so I could get out. The guy then lay back down, rolled over and went back to sleep. It took me a while to fall asleep again.

This is a funny thread.

For me there is only one rule: choose your partners well.

Sorry, I've been on the trail or working, so here are my late contributions:

1. When on the AT (or other trails with permanent shelters), use your tent and not the shelter. That way, the only person snoring or farting whom you have to worry about is yourself.

In that regard, no matter how much you love each other, sleep in separate shelters, especially if you're on a long hike. You'll like each other better in the morning. Exceptions: if it's really cold or my wife and me, especially if you're reading this now, honeypot. Okay, I know this one is controversial. YMMV.

2. When traveling with a spousal unit or any other person of the opposite gender, go deep into the woods to relieve yourself. If somebody else of the opposite gender is relieving her- or himself, walk a decent distance and wait, staring vacantly into the woods in the opposite direction until that person catches up with you.

3. As others have noted, carry extra food and booze. There's nothing better than passing the bottle (or the pipe if you are so inclined) around as you sit by the fire as the sun sets majestically in the west.

As in,

"Me and my old lady sat and passed the pipe around."

John Denver

4. In that regard, nothing is more edifying to your traveling companion(s) than reaching into the fire for just the right-sized stick and lighting the pipe with the burning end. A Bic Mini just doesn't cut the mustard, emotionally speaking. Not that I'd do that myself, but it sets exactly the right tone if you are so inclined. :-D

Stargazer

Hmmm, perhaps there are some more generous hikers out there than I've encountered, I'm feeling like a bit of a jerk. Fortunately the folks I've been hiking with agree to the same general rules:

1. You want to bring it along? Then YOU carry it. Just cause my pack weighs less than yours, I'm not carrying your stuff to even it out! Putting together my sub-20# pack contents cost me a lot of time and jing, and I intend to enjoy every minute of it. Group gear and food goodies to share is one thing, but your five pound sleeping bag is another!

2. Share my beer? I don't think so, that stuff is heavy. It's different if your boyfriend is a sasquatch and can will happily carry in a six pack in for you–that is just good manners on his part and increases the likelihood I won't kick him every five minutes for his chainsaw snoring. Likker on the other hand is comparatively light, and ought to be passed around.

3. Bring a decent sized branch back for the fire when you go off to pee.

Dig me a cathole? You must be kidding.

P.S. Don't forget to attach a little bouquet of flowers on the tent! (My favorite "Lighten Up" recommendation for hiking with a woman!)