Top April Fool’s methods for reducing your base weight – without changing any of your equipment
Want to lower your base weight? Well, you could spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars replacing the perfectly fine, functional, ultralight gear you already have, fretting over every choice and driving your UPS deliveryman crazy. Or, you could take the easy path – leave your gear alone. Like I said, it’s fine already, all you really need is some creative spreadsheet gymnastics to drop grams, ounces and even pounds off your base weight.
Using this method with rigorous and ruthless application, I have been able to bring my base weight down from about 13 pounds to a little over a pound. And that’s still with some luxuries. Here’s how I did it:
- Weigh items on different areas of your scale. Sometimes you can get a lower number if an item is placed on the edge of the scale rather than the center, I’m sure the lowest weight reading is the right one. And to that end…
- Weigh on different scales. Weigh everything on at least two different scales. If there is a discrepancy then they both can’t be right, so which one is wrong? The heavier one, obviously.
- Use manufacturer listed weights if lighter. We’ve all done it, bought a piece of gear to save weight based on manufacturer specs, then we get the item and weigh it to find that it really weighs a little more. It’s not your fault the manufacturer made your item heavier than spec. It was supposed to be that lighter weight, I’m sure somebody somewhere got it for that weight, it could have been you, right?
- Pack out your pack. One of the main uses of base weight is to determine if your pack can carry the weight comfortably. And for that we typically refer to the pack’s “load,” and so we often equate base weight plus consumables to be our load. But a pack isn’t part of the load that’s inside the pack, so the “load weight” maximum isn’t including the pack’s own weight. By that logic, it shouldn’t be counted in base weight either.
- Move items to your pockets. Really, who ever talks about worn-weight or skin-out weight? Yeah, in theory those count, but you’re not hiking in TheoryLand, all that matters is base weight bragging rights and you know it. Stuff your pockets and watch the pounds melt away.
- Comply with regulations, but watch the weight. Sometimes we grind every gram out of our base weight just to have to add weight back in to comply with various regulations. Bear canisters are the heaviest regulatory requirement, but there are also camping restrictions, fire restrictions and even the weight of carrying a permit. Of course we are glad to do these things, but why should your base weight suffer? It shouldn’t – and it needn’t, as long as you leave it off your spreadsheet.
- Don’t count special necessities. Things like medicines, a knee brace, your CPAP machine and the like. It’s bad enough you have a physical ailment that needs special supplies, you shouldn’t be further handicapped by having to count the weight for the special equipment your doctor prescribed or physical therapist recommended. In your condition, the wilderness is lucky to have you out there at all.
- Wallet? What wallet? Honestly, have you ever seen a wallet on a gear list? Your driver’s license, money, credit card, health insurance card, wilderness permit – these are all “gimmies.”
- Factor in altitude. Weight is the effect of gravity on a certain mass. Here on Earth we measure weight based on Earth’s gravity (quite convenient). If you are at a high altitude you are slightly further away from the center of the Earth’s mass that is exerting that gravitational force on you and your gear. The same mass weighs about 0.5% less at 10,000 ft that it does at sea level. So a 10-lb base weight could weigh about 23 grams less at altitude, maybe more. Take that deduction, you’ve earned it.
- Round down. Nuff said.
- For a dual-use piece of gear, knock the weight out of both categories. That’s just one of the magical benefits of dual-use gear. My Gatewood Cape? Zero weight, because I don’t put the weight in the shelter category since the item already appears in my rain gear category, and I don’t count the weight in my rain gear category since the item already appears in my shelter category. Makes sense to me.
- Don’t count it if you never used it. Ever get home from a trip and realize there was a piece of gear you never used? You might as well have not even brought it, right? Ipso facto, then you might as well not even count the weight.
- Ignore small add-backs. Sometimes in the pursuit of the lowest weight possible we go a little overboard and cut back just a bit too much. Or, sometimes a new, even-lighter product becomes available and we rush to try it, only to find out it involves a bit more compromise that we are comfortable with. For example, you are disappointed with the flow rate on your Sawyer Mini filter so you go back to the Squeeze. Or, you try a torso-length sleeping pad but realize you won’t get a good night’s sleep on anything less than full length. These are valid, practical decisions, so why should that cost you on your base weight? You were willing to make the sacrifice for the even-lighter way to go, it just didn’t work out. No harm, no foul – and no weight penalty if you just leave the even-lighter weight in place on your spreadsheet.
- Just cheat. Your gear is plenty light enough, who’s gonna know?
