What meals are you planning? I just boil and rehydrate, so only use a pot (no pan). If you rehydrate in a bag, there's no mess to clean up–you could bag each portion individually, or use one bag and serve out into cups. I use a kmart "grease pot" to boil water, but that's too small for three–open country makes an aluminum 2 qt. pot that costs about $10 and weighs (according to them) .26 lbs, or a little over 4 oz. Campmor sells them, too.

GSI makes durable plastic cups that hold 1.5 cups and weigh 1.7 oz–cost >$3. For "silverware" I like the Light My Fire spork–.4 oz., $2.99 at BPL store, and everyone can have their own color. Or you could just bring spoons from home for the first couple trips–the extra couple oz won't hurt (much). I hardly ever use anything but a spoon.