Women of BPL, Help a Brother Out

The fact that you are thinking about it and asking for tips in advance is a good start!

In my own personal experience that goes a long way. I've found that my wife likes to hike at a slower pace, cover fewer miles per day, take more frequent breaks, and stopping early enough to bathe daily is very important to her. All these things make backpacking much more enjoyable for her, so now I try to plan them in to our trips together. Also surprising her with a nice bottle of wine that you secretly brought in a platypus or nalgene bottle on the first night never hurts!

On your 1/2 nighters has she slept well? Make sure she has a cush enough sleeping pad, particularly if she's a side sleeper.

(or at least that's an issue I'm sorting out)

Hmmm…seems mostly covered with comfy sleeping, alcohol, and chocolate…maybe hot water for washing, evenings and mornings?

>"I'm going to carry some tequila and PackitGourmet margarita mix."

How about a nice white wine (transferred to a plastic bottle), a selection of cheese from the deli and good crackers? To serve the white wine chilled, simply freeze it (leave a little air space or better yet use a bottle that can expand). Then wrap the frozen bottle (with the cheese) in a sweater or sleeping bag and it can last for a day in transit.

If you want a special drink later in the trip, a classic chick drink is a Cosmopolitan. Here's a recipe for 4 servings:

8 ounces (1 cup) vodka
2 ounces (1/4 cup) triple sec
3 ounces (1/3 cup) cranberry juice
1 to 2 ounces (2 tablespoons to 4 tablespoons) fresh lime juice
4 2-inch orange peels/twists

Here's the UL technique: Use Everclear instead of vodka, orange extract instead of triple sec, Ocean Spray cranberry juice concentrate, and frozen concentrated lime juice. Then everything is about 1/4 the volume/weight and you dilute it with 1 part mix to 3 parts water. Bring a mandarin orange and you can even serve it with a twist of orange zest.

My mother's deal to go on camping trips was that she be presented, each morning, with a hot wash cloth. Someone, not her, was to get the stove or fire going and start a pot of water. Then bring a hot wash cloth to her tent.

"My question is, what can I do to make extra sure that this is a pleasant and memorable trip for her…"

Make sure it's good weather.

Billy

Thanks for the reminder on frequent breaks, not pushing the pace etc. We're looking at 10 mile days and she's done them before with small kids in tow.

The warm washcloth is a great idea. Heck, I like that for myself even!

Think I'll sneak along a little Riesling (her fave) as well.

Thanks for the tips.

Just a thought from a 26 year veteran. Did you ask her what she wants from this trip?

Time together away from everything, a good outdoors experience, perhaps a recharging of batteries.

Not a woman (although I'm known to dress as one) but maybe surprise her by dry baking brownies?

Going in September, as you have planned, is probably the best thing you can do. Its a beautiful time to be out and the chances of rain are low. The toughest trips I have done with my wife had lots of rain. The best trips have been dry.

And I think the hot washcloth idea is perfect. I am going to steal that one.

Sounds like you have it pretty well figured out to me. Enjoy the Highlands.

That is such a great route. You are hiking by streams much of the way and I've found that if I stop for the night by a stream, I am golden. I also pack a Nano 7 hammock with whoopie slings (10 oz total with the tree straps) so you may want to think about something like that. Hanging by a stream, sipping wine with cheese and crackers…dang dude, you might even get some ;)

As a woman who DOES like long backpack trips, you can kill the experience if you:

– Act like a whiny baby when you don't get your way
– Have a lot of physical problems to complain about
– Can't keep up with me
– If you have altitude problems that change your personality negatively
– If you won't accept help from a little old woman when you are struggling
– If you keep your head stuck in various apps the whole time and don't make decisions that aren't backed up by your app

Okay, that's enough.

foot massage at the end of the day

I dont understand it, but rubbing my feet doesnt reallly cheer my wife up as much as I thought it would.

I'm not female but my wife and I hike a lot together, and just came back from a Long Trail thru. In no particular order:

1. Split up the weight and the camp chores equitably. It's tempting to just do everything, but that's not usually a good idea :)

2. Make decisions together, and be willing to revise as the day goes on.

3. Support each other when the going gets tough. We lucked out on the LT and for the most part when one of us was having a very hard time, the other one wasn't and could offer support or encouragement or just some space as needed.

4. Bring little food and drink treats for both of you — fill a water bottle with a nice red wine for the first night, bring dark chocolate for dinner each night, bring some decaf tea bags for a hot drink in the evening. Our food bags weighed a ton but we enjoyed eating well.

5. Make sure she has the right gear to be warm enough. This is a big deal with my partner.

6. Don't patronize. Every time there is a thread about hiking with a spouse I see the "hike slowly!" and "take lots of breaks!" and "don't worry about miles!" responses and I just sigh. My lovely wife can leave me in her dust on the trail any time she wants to and can easily handle the same miles I can. This goes back to #2, make decisions together. :)

Note that the open balds and wild ponies are just in the High Country between the Pine Mountain Trail (heading south on the AT from VA 603) to just past Buzzard Rock on Whitetop Mountain — really not even half of the hike. But you will see lots of ponies :). This is an awesome section. You might also consider the Lazy Fox Inn B&B for the end of hike relaxation.

(If you send me a PM I can provide some detailed info on campsites, springs, etc., as I have hiked that area for >20 years.)

@Piper

LOL I don't whine :) She doesn't either, in fact she will suck it up when it's bad, but I don't want her to be in that position in the first place…we both find that when outdoors we have very little to complain about. Neither of us have significant physical problems, my pace is a little faster than hers but I dial back slightly when with her without issue…altitude won't be a problem….there will be no apps on this trip, just backup cell phone turned off during actual hiking (we will call our kids at night if possible to reassure them bears didn't eat us)…and we both love to meet old men and women and accept things from them, particularly advice.
FWIW, my training partner is 75 and he smokes me in pace.

@Ken-

I think I have good info from a hiking buddy who did this stretch last year, but don't be surprised if I PM you anyway :)

My wife absolutely can handle this trip physically. Mentally, it's the first time in 15 years she will be away from the kids for a week, so I want it to be worth it, and that means little special things.

just guessing, but I think Piper was describing her last hike with her boyfriend

Billy

> just guessing, but I think Piper was describing her last hike with her boyfriend

Possibly

LOL…..when we do family hikes, my daughter is always the one who is up there with Daddy and NEVER complaining. And she ain't the oldest.

Anyone who reads Wired or Rockin's blogs should know better than to diss a lady hiker.

My wife is strong in many ways. She works full time, just earned a masters (with a 4.0 average!) and puts up with me when I am my grumpiest before I switched jobs. <—This alone makes her strong! ;)

All I know is that I am happy to have her back and do things with her again. :) If the mileage is lower than what we did four years ago, before she started school, so be it. Just nice to be together again on weekends on a regular basis again!

"Mentally, it's the first time in 15 years she will be away from the kids for a week, so I want it to be worth it, and that means little special things."

Wow! Good for her. You guys are going to have a great time!

It sounds like you don't need to take it easy on her (hiking wise). If she does fall behind, beware of what one of my girlfriends calls the F**k You Stop. This is when you have pulled ahead of your partner, perhaps during a hard stretch, and you stop to wait for them, and once they catch up, 10 seconds later you head off again, having been nicely rested while they have just barely caught their break.

If being away from the kids will be emotionally hard, maybe planning something that keeps you guys feeling connected to them would be fun. For example, making a little short daily video at the end of the day where you talk to them about your day or (I don't know how old your kids are) sing a little song to them or something,. If they are school age, a Flat Stanley kind of thing where you make a little paper cutout of each kid that they color to look like themselves, and take pictures of your Flat kids at various points along the way could be fun. Even just bringing a photo of them that you can tuck into your sleeping bag at night.

Other than that you have some good suggestions already — Indulging in some gourmet things is nice. On longer trips I really like to bring a few personal luxuries like a tiny hairbrush or a few daily facial wipes. It's hard as you get less and less human as the days go, and sometimes little things can make a difference!

Just wanted to let everyone know that our hike was great, and an unplanned key was cutting back the mileage a bit. We went 11 and 10 miles the first 2 days, cut back to 5 on day 3 while we waited out some rain, and then 6 and 8 the next two days during which we climbed a lot and spent a lot of time taking photos. On the last day, just 4 miles, culminating in some unexpected trail magic! In addition to that, we bumped into a nice crew from the AT Conservancy, and we met some neat folks on the trail as well. My wife really enjoyed this social aspect of the AT, as did I. It turned our that our gear and food plans were spot on. She even enjoyed 3 nights in shelters since the mice were entertaining but not destructive. Finishing up with 2 nights at the Old Mill in Damascus and meeting up with some old friends was icing on the cake. She can't wait for the next trip!

Thanks to all BPL'rs for helpful advice.