sharing the fun

Seems there are two types of people: those who will put up with lots of annoyances and discomfort to be out in natural settings for long periods, and those for whom the discomforts and annoyances outweigh any enjoyment they get.

Best to figure out which your wife is. If the latter, it may be hopeless.

Education may be the key, or shifting the focus from the grind of backpacking to enjoyment of where you are. Maybe you are too goal-oriented and are trying to hike too far/fast for her.

You might consider starting out the way one starts out with children…short hikes to very nice places (near water is always great), lots of time spent exploring, napping, nature watching, looking for animals, etc.

Good luck!

I dont know your wife, so I can only give very generic advice…

Find what part of backpacking she likes best, and which parts she dislikes. Diligently tailor your hikes to suit her.

My wife loves streams, lakes, waterfalls, shade, and the aesthetics of a glass of wine, a beautiful backcountry meal, in a good looking camp in a beautiful setting.
My wife does not love difficult hiking, heat, mosquitos, dehydrated packaged food.

On our hikes we usually go for a very beautiful lake and plop down after only a few hours of hiking and then spend all afternoon lounging, reading, eating berries, and swimming. The next day we do the same. I must admit, it is a very nice way to go, and she loves backpacking now!! She just hit me up yesterday to take her again!!

sorry to be a downer, but I wouldn't try too hard. If she sees it as a slog, don't force it.

I tried for awhile to get my husband more interested in backpacking. He was marginally interested, we had a few nice trips, and a few that ended up at B&Bs. It's an activity that takes a certain level of intensity and buy-in to work.

But to the point…

Get her views on destinations as much as possible. (e.g. if I were going to drag my husband out again I know he likes coastal routes). See if you can find a spectacularly beautiful spot to set up camp.

Plan as much as possible, and carefully consider the comfort factor in all her gear. (e.g. I didn't take notice that my husband's old pack didn't fit him well – one of several factors that cut a trip short). Put special attention on her sleeping pad and getting a flat-as possible site.

Be willing to reschedule if the weather forecast is lousy.

Carry some of her stuff.

Is there anything other than the slog-factor that dampens her enthusiasm? Fear of being cold? Fear of mosquitos? Fear of being stuck in the wilderness at the wrong time of month? Fear of cougars or bears? Sound those out and address the best you can.

If she is sort of interested, keep the pressure to go out very light.

Good luck!

First, every significant other is different. I can only say what works for my wife and myself.

Having said that…

My wife loves the outdoors, but in a much different way of enjoying it than myself. Where I love to walk all day, she loves to get up early, enjoy camp then hike..get in a little earlier and take in the atmosphere when ending the day.

And after four years of going to grad school and working full time, frankly her exercise has taken a back seat.

So, we have been car camping more so than anything in the past three years.

We took our first backpacking trip together in three years recently.

I took most of the gear, made a great backcountry dinner, kept the mileage AND elevation gain low and picked a trip she would like.
http://www.pmags.com/buffalo-peaks-saunter

I also have to learn to be flexible. We were supposed to go out together this weekend, but she had a busy week and the weather is supposed to be crappy. Looks like an easy day hike instead Saturday and perhaps something more challenging by myself this Sunday.

So it goes.

(And next weekend is a 50-60 mile solo trip!)

My wife can easily do a strenuous 16-18 mile day hike, and she likes doing them.

However, she will never, ever go backpacking. She will never, ever sleep on the ground. At the end of the day she wants a hot shower and an ice cold blended Margarita. So we have a camper. She is willing to go camping almost every weekend. See 1,000 Sunsets and 1,000 sunrises. I enjoy the camping trips too.

And if we aren’t going camping together, she is fine with me going backpacking. This weekend I’m going backpacking and she is going to visit her mother.

Bad idea to try and convince the significant other to do something they are not truly interested in.

My wife does not like backpacking, camping, sleeping outdoors, or climbing mountains. She thinks I am crazy and insane for doing it. She needs a bathroom, toilet, sink, running water, hot shower, tv, a bed…you get the idea. She will do short simple dayhikes, and she loves to go out for daily jogs, but any mountains or staying out overnight will NOT happen with her. I always ask her to join me, and she laughs at me. Soooo..This is my time, or if my son comes out with me (our time). I have accepted it and I am happy. Though I would love to share it with her it won't happen and I won't press it because like everyone else has said..As great as it is, it is not for everyone. And I kinda like that it's not for everyone because if every one loved it as much as I did, there would be too many people out there and like everyday rural life, it would be trashed!

The way I see it, someone either enjoys hard physical exertion and sweating, or they don't. You aren't going to change someone that doesnt, nor should you try. Others are spot on, tailor trips so that she enjoys them (which can mean camping with minimal walking), and where you do most of the work, or leave her home. Spouses don't have to do everything together.

Here's an idea:

What activity does she really want you to join in on, that you're lukewarm, at best, about?

Be a good sport about that, and maybe there will be some quid pro quo.

I think Katherine makes a good point. ( and with a name like that she's got be cool anyway:)

@MB I agree with you to a point. I think that some people have not had enough positive, rewarding experiences with sweating and panting and then the elated feeling that comes with going though that. I agree that it probably cannot be just taught or made to appreciate in someone else, but ideally I think one could help another person build the bank of positive experiences that involve the dirty work.
When I am tired, either at work ( outside) or engaging in other tiring/ outdoor activities, I often draw on memories of how it feels when you push through and get it done- to help me get that extra motivation.
The more positive experiences one has, the more one might stick with it.

On a barely related note, it saddens me to see very young kids that are so heavy that I wonder if they have ever even experienced the pure joy of skipping about and running etc. without being encumbered . They might never know that feeling and not know what they are missing.

"share some tips with me to help get my wife excited about backpacking.
or tips to help with her enjoyment of the trip."

"often times, she sees it as just a slog, and tromps along, head down."

Who picked the location; the route? If you did, ask her for her input. Cut the mileage in half. Setup camp early near a lake on some granite and sunbathe, swim, and relax together. Ask her open ended questions about things you normally avoid at all cost (e.g. How's your friend's relationship with youknowwho going?) Bring her favorite food & drink (w/ alcohol of course). Surprise her with candles and a massage at bed time. <–not kidding.

Truly enjoy her company in a beautiful place and I'm sure she'll enjoy you doing it.

Good luck and have fun-both of you.

PS-Almost forgot. Budget an extra day on the return trip for a nice hotel stop rather than mad dash back to home. Said hotel should have spa options and great food there or nearby. Enjoy.

> Surprise her with candles and a message at bed time.
What sort of message? Something like "The IRS would like to discuss your tax return with you" maybe?

Cheers
PS: or did you mean massage?

Indeed. Convert to Islam. And get thee a second wife who loves to hike. :)

+1 w/Nick. It's worked for me for 26 years.

Now we have a favorite car camping area only a half hour or so from home. Easy.

"PS: or did you mean massage?"

Indeed. Thanks for catching that. I knew there was a reason they still kept you around here.