Roll Your Own Toilet Paper

[Billy Ray]

Addendum:

Roll your own, but don't smoke the used TP… bad ju ju….

Billy

[Daniel Pittman]

"Also, if you begin the roll tightly around a length of string you can use it as a tampon for your bleeding vagina. Man-up, homeboy! You don't need toilet paper in the woods."

Really?

Yes, really. And it's not a slight against women. My mother was raised in central America, and they didn't always have 'modern' sanitation in the jungle. I've known from an early age that toilet paper is a luxury, not a necessity.

Critter saying that he learned it from a Green Beret just smacks of dumb machismo to me. Since when are Green Berets supposed to be our role models? I take LNT very seriously, and take major offense at seeing TP blowing around on the trail.

Unless he's just trolling to improve his youtube metrics, in which case "Well played, sir. Now GTFO."

[Dale Wambaugh]

I just take a partial roll, flatten it and put it in a ziplock. The tube doesn't weigh much and can be used for fire starting.

The other trick is to keep a roll in the car, as trailhead outhouses never have TP.

[Bob Gross]

I don't worry about this out on the trail. I just let my staff handle the details.

–B.G.–

[John S.]

To me, if you are using regular toilet paper that cannot get wet, you have failed from the start.

[Billy Ray]

"To me, if you are using regular toilet paper that cannot get wet, you have failed from the start."

I guess you haven't heard of the TP with a DWR coating… that okay with you John? :)

Billy

[Justin Baker]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3Ad6tBdLbM

[David Thomas]

>"To me, if you are using regular toilet paper that cannot get wet, you have failed from the start."

I just multi-purpose the Tyvek ground cloth. It cleans up pretty well in the next stream or once I get home.

Not.

[Franco Darioli]

If you poop by a waterfall you get rid of the evidence and have your bum washed at the same time.
Now, that is LW and multi-use !!!

Warning : if you see salmon jumping upstream, don't do it there !

[Desert Dweller]

DO I need to tell you GUYS about the pee rag? Its a FEMALE thing. :-O Not for poop!
And NO there will NOT be a video….

[Marko Botsaris]

Yeah, I never worry about running out. I've watched Mike Clelland's video!

On the other hand, while on a trip driving (in the Mojave where the roadside choices mostly all had spines of one sort or another, or would otherwise strongly object) I really had to go, and knew I was miles from any "civilized" solution. No desert tortoises of the appropriate size seemed at hand.

What I learned: that when considering multi-purposing materials for this in the future, that crumpled notebook paper is NOT the best choice, unless you are a hardened outdoorsman that is hardened in all the right places.

[Kevin Babione]

The best TP I've found is to cut up the disposable blue shop towels (available at Wal-Mart). I cut a sheet in half and then fold each half into a square. For me two squares a day are what I bring for a trip (plus two extra squares as insurance). They're soft, work well, and (very importantly) can be used in the rain.

I've never tried to burn them…I pack them out when used.

[Eric Blumensaadt]

Wow, that's the most anal thing I've yet seen on BPL. A new record that will long stand.

Just pull out the d@mn cardboard center and flatten the roll.

DONE!

[Franco Darioli]

that's the most anal thing I've yet seen on BPL
Of course it is , we are discussing "wiping bum 101" here….

[Steven Diogenes]

"Also, if you begin the roll tightly around a length of string you can use it as a tampon for your bleeding vagina. Man-up, homeboy! You don't need toilet paper in the woods."

"Yes, really. And it's not a slight against women."

Where does the power of this insult come from if not in it's negative connotation of women? It's an insult that relies on the concept of women/vaginas being somehow weak, with the opposite positive value being strength, and only coming from men (clear in your use of the term 'man-up'). ie, 'don't be a weak woman, be a strong man'. That's the sexist (against both men and women) logic that exists behind your insult. Its equivalents are terms like 'pussy' or 'bitch', that are used as a derogatory term for someone who isn't as 'tough' as this culture's standards of masculinity require. Insults like this and the thinking/concepts behind them set us all up for harm. By saying your mother didn't use toilet paper either, you're saying she wasn't weak like a woman, she was strong like a man, but the same sexist logic is present.

There's nothing weak or gross about a woman or their wonderful bleeding vaginas (that you came falling out of no less); there's nothing wrong with a man if they don't live up to your standards of masculinity (or rather, the standards you've accepted). Gender roles and stereotypes suck.. they're damaging, and they're propped up every day by the things we say and how we behave (and the big one, media). I'm no saint either– we're all born into this and it's a process of unlearning, but I felt it necessary to point out that sexism like that isn't OK anywhere, much less a mature forum like this.

Now don't get your panties in a bunch. (ba dum ch) (subtext: because if you show too much emotion and get a little frustrated you'll be acting like an emotional woman [who else wears panties?]! …and that would just be terrible… right?……)

[Franco Darioli]

Did Elton John "man up" when he wrote the music to the "The Bitch Is Back " lyrics ?
(that line came from the lyricist's wife when she saw Elton entering the room…)

My comment has to do with some not taking themselves (or life) as seriously as others do.

[Steven Diogenes]

Sexism is as serious as it gets when you consider stats like 1 in 6 women being a victim of an attempt or an actual rape… and that's only the reported numbers, and it's been established that rape is rarely reported. The number goes up especially for women of color, and drastically goes up for trans women. So while using sexist language doesn't mean you're a rapist, the two are not separate phenomenon. They exist together in a patriarchical and sexist culture, and how easily we accept sexist language is a huge question in light of the literal epidemic of violence against women.

[Marko Botsaris]

I was waiting until this thread degenerated enough to reveal this tip – just so it would not be too embarrassing by comparison. While I feel this point has been reached, I still fear my tactic is not going to be completely successful. Nevertheless, here goes anyway. As my Latin is rusty, I will try to relate this shocking information in as genteel a way as I can, so as to not cause delicate ladies to faint. I am afraid a youtube video is simply out of the question!

A story was related to me, or maybe I read it somewhere, about a certain Zen Roshi who ran a training temple in Japan I think. Anyway, he was a big cheese so he had his own outhouse. Either he died, or more likely one of the students got the job to clean out the outhouse – but somehow it was discovered that this Roshi was so predictable and systematic in his shitting that inside of the outhouse, in the place there the TP was supposed to go, was found a virtually perfect skyscraper of single squares of used toilet paper, all neatly stacked one on top of the other.

Now I'm sure this was supposed to convey some deep truth, but it was lost on me.

However, some time later I realized that (when backpacking) if you neatly fold up your used TP, very soon it becomes a ball and, for a time at least, it maintains a useful radius and, one might say, architectural integrity owing to its properties of construction – an approximation what Mike Clelland might call the "right sized rock". During this period, or "phase of growth" – one can greatly minimize one's use of TP by making use of the ball as a "substitute rock" with just a few additional sheets of TP covering each use. Now keep in mind when properly constructed the used side of the material is always on the interior, where it acts as a kind of cement, while making no actual subsequent contact. The squeamish have the option of adding a few more sheets of TP, after as extra insulation.

Note this method can also be used with natural materials where the rock-substitute/ball can be used as (Mike Clelland's words not mine) a "finisher". No last-minute moss or stone collecting required!

At some point, but usually if one is economical only on a long trip, the radius may grow to be impractical, at which point the process can be started again. The final shape of the "substitute rock" saves space (of course in a zip-lock) as well as TP used, and is easy to drop in the trash or otherwise appropriately disposed of it after a trip, though stealth is recommended in this last step in order to avoid any embarrassing questions or attention.

I'd like to imagine the Roshi nodding sagely to me in approval after hearing about this – as if we shared some secret knowledge. But most likely you all think I'm a nutter. But there you have it, my up-to-now-super-secret (and super-embarrassing) all-true tip/teachings on saving TP weight, and all in accordance with maximal LNT. And a pox upon you if you burn or bury your TP on the trail.

[Jennifer Mitol]

I actually do just fine TP-less, and now that I have discovered the wonders of the pee rag I am in bathroom nirvana on the trail!

But my question is this: what do you guys eat that require sooooo much thought about the TP?

[Diane Pinkers]

Maybe folks need to add more fiber to their backpacking diets?

[Diane Pinkers]

Thank you for your commentary on use of language, Steven. Folks use phrases without considering their origin or what they really mean, and have no idea how it colors their attitudes and perceptions about others.

[Dan @ Durston Gear]

Mark. That's awesome.

[Billy Ray]

Steven makes a valid point. But his rant is a bit over the top and edges into the territory of, "me thinks thou protestuth too much…"

I suggest we get back to poop and TP…. and stop the pooping on each other.

Billy

[Marko Botsaris]

Jennifer, I AM working towards going TP-less. For example I do use natural materials as well. Maybe I'll get there some day.

As for why the obsessiveness in this threat. Seriously? This is BPL!

[Steven Diogenes]

Diane, thanks.

Billy, point taken- I was heated so I probably did get a little too finger-waggy.

Mark, lol, doesn't your… poo ball… start to smell?

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