Karen, a lot of the stuff you want to bring is actually unnecessary. For example, a stuff sack for a tarp. Mine *just* fills my pot letting me do triple duty with my pot: cooking, water and tarp protection in the pack (both from water in the tarp getting in my gear and from abrasion from other things in my pack.) Sticking with the “double duty” philosophy allows you to remove a lot of unnecessary gear.
Double duty can lead to traps. For example using a spoon as a stake. Well, if I am cooking under my tarp in a rain storm, I NEED my spoon…a trap. You cannot use an item in two places at the same time.
Skill often substitutes for a piece of hardware. As an example, a spoon is all I bring. I can make chopsticks for some sort of grabber, or, whittle a forked stick to make a fork. Spoons are more difficult to make/whittle so I bring the spoon and drop the fork and knife. (I always have a pocket knife, usually a Gerber LST.) Again, this is reliance on a skill to replace a piece of hardware or item in the pack.
You need to identify which items you *cannot* make do double duty. Things like a stove have a single purpose, to make hot food/water. Yes, I have only used a campfire, but pots get sooty…transferring that soot to everything. Use a sack? Well, then we are adding more gear and weight. Gathering wood, starting a fire, in the rain, well, it is all work… Follow? A stove burns far cleaner besides saving time setting up and cleaning up after eating. Choose the lightest/smallest piece of gear that will still do the job, if you MUST have that piece of gear.
Avoid framed packs. Anything with a frame means the pack cannot be rolled up to use as a pillow. This means the pack is doing double duty, too.
Get a good down quilt or bag. Get a good down jacket. In a pinch, you can wear your jacket under your quilt for an extra 10F boost in temp rating. Keep them dry. A good, small dry/compression bag will let you put your jacket, bag, long johns and socks in it, *and* compress it down to around 10″ long so it fits into your pack. Even in pouring rain, your sleeping gear will always be dry. The compression bag turns inside out and gets stuffed with the pack (even wet) as a complete pillow.
Bring all food dehydrated. Or, as dry as can be had. I usually head out with about a pound per day for me. That works out to around 2500C/day or about 155C/oz. Pemican, ghee, olive oil, cocoa, coffee, dehydrated cooked rice, dehydrated cooked beans, dried beef, dried fish, peperoni/sausages, soup mixes, lentils, peas, corn, green beans, onions, etc make up the bulk on longer trips. Average is just under 150C/oz for a two week trip. This will keep your food bag as small as possible without starving. I have extra on my belly that I can use, but I need at least 2500C/day to avoid getting tired and bonking/hitting the wall.
Take a good look at your gear and see what you can minimize. A small Impulse light does everything a larger flashlight does except night hiking. Even that is possible in a pinch. It weighs about 5/8oz and will last around 8hours.
Take a good wilderness first aid course. You will learn that most injuries are minor: blisters, cuts and scrapes. Fuel (alky) makes an OK sterilizer. Toilet paper makes an OK pad when dipped in alky. Duct tape just keeps it in place. All double duty stuff from a UL packer’s kit. Duct tape makes a good substitute “callus” over blisters once you clean and sterilize the blister. It also patches up rips, pokes and tears in your gear. A 1″ roll (about 2 yards) is plenty most of the time. In a severe injury, plan on lots of pain before you get out. Bring a small packet of pills (maybe 4 good pain pills.)
A good rule of thumb for UL packing is ONE POUND. One pound for your pack. One pound for your shelter. One pound for your sleeping bag/quilt. One pound for your ditty bag (odds and ends: stakes, spoon, bear line, spare batteries, Steripen, tape, etc.) One pound for your hiking sweater/rain gear. One pound for socks, long johns, down jacket. One pound for cooking gear (stove, fuel, pot, lid, water bottles.) One pound for sacks(ditty bag, food bag, eVent bag) One pound total leeway on the above. And one pound in luxury items(I use this towards my NeoAir.) One pound per day for food, but this actually doesn’t count towards base weight. As an example, this will all fit into a 35L Murmur for two weeks out and just fill it. About half the volume is food. And more than half the weight is food. Typically, my pack weight for two weeks out is around 23-25 pounds. ‘Corse, I can drop a LOT of this to SUL weights and have a smaller pack for weekends, but I rarely go out for that little time.
The whole kit is good to about 30F and with some slight overage on the bag, can hit 20F easily(I think there was a 5oz overage for 20F.) You can hike down to around 30F with a sweater and your rain gear. At camp, you need the jacket. Ofcourse, hiking at 20F often means additional clothing and gear.
It can be done, mostly by applying the above rules. In later fall, winter and early spring, I just add more clothing. I will often buy a heavier, smaller item rather than buy simply the lightest item. Small volume usually means an instant overall weight savings…often in the form of a smaller, lighter pack. The little 3oz bags mentioned above work pretty well for short two night outings for example. It drops 10oz over the Murmur, for example.