Apr 9, 2012 at 9:00 am #1288493
I noticed another member just posted about getting married so this thread will be helping more than just me! Anyways, maybe this is the wrong place to ask this question since all of you are gear addicts like me but do you guys think it is rude to register at an outdoor gear store for your wedding? Specifically REI.
My fiance and I already registered at two boring stores for vacuums, blenders, silverware etc and she wanted me to have a little fun so she said we could register at REI. Is this ok? I mean, isn't gift registry meant for household items and not for fun things? I ask because both our parents said it was a bad idea.
We are not registering for clothes, jackets, or anything like that. More just car camping and climbing gear like foldable chairs, new headlamps, a tent, *cough* PMI half ropes *cough*, bike rack, platy bottles, a new backpack for the fiance, etc. What do you guys think? Is it rude or a good idea?Apr 9, 2012 at 9:04 am #1865267
Link .BPL Member
I think it's fine,I have had several friends register with REI and I have always purchased my gift there over the more traditional stores on the list.Apr 9, 2012 at 9:10 am #1865270
Dale WambaughBPL Member
@dwambaughLocale: Pacific Northwest
If you want hiking gear rather than crockery, go for it! For those who hike on a regular basis, it *is* a household item. If they love you, they understand your passion. I would happily buy my kids stuff at REI if they registered there. I'd get the dividends too :D
The most used items we got for wedding gifts were a fry pan, a box fan, and a small step ladder. They were given rather tongue in cheek, but they were 100% practical. The rest of the stuff is pretty and gathers dust in the china cabinet. In a world with dwindling resources, what makes sense?
And it is *your* wedding.Apr 9, 2012 at 9:13 am #1865272
@kieranLocale: Seattle, WA
Not rude at all. The wedding gifts are meant to help you get on with a happily married life. Gearing up for 2 is, last I checked, twice as expensive as gearing up for one. Ergo, if outdoors you want to be, happily geared and married you should be. :)Apr 9, 2012 at 9:22 am #1865282
Not only is not rude, it is actually awesome.Apr 9, 2012 at 9:47 am #1865294
@tylerdLocale: SE US
I agree with your parents. (Sorry). To me wedding gifts are for your the new home and life you and your wife are about to make together not stocking up for hobbies/fun. Some people might not want to buy you camping gear but at the same time might feel like by not buying you camping/fun/hobby gear they are getting you a boring gift compared to what others might be getting you.
Also there is the feeling that camping/climbing/any hobby might be a fad versus drinking coffee and vacuuming never go out of style.
You will probably get a bunch of money/cash which you can spend on camping gear if you want.Apr 9, 2012 at 9:55 am #1865299
Timothy HugueninBPL Member
I'd say that hiking/backpacking IS a part of life…and backpacking equipment is a part of what are household items for people like us.Apr 9, 2012 at 10:03 am #1865300
Paul JohnsonBPL Member
Think of this from the perpective of your guests. A registry is a tool to assist them in gift giving. Offering an option will not offend reasonable people. I recommend you register for gifts the two of you will use and enjoy. I recommend you NOT register for items you won't use. Guests with traditional values will be comfortable and familiar with traditional gifts ( ie. No Cuben from them :-( ) Try to offer them options that you like/need and they will enjoy giving.
Of note, my nephew has recently registered for his wedding. His bride to be and him did not register for china, silverware or crystal.
Note 2: I was with a friend this past weekend who is lightly involved in backpacking, although a circle of his friends are in the industry. Many years ago he married and his backpacking friends gave backpacking gifts. He spoke glowingly of enjoying these gifts with his wife. I think any wedding guest would be pleased their gift was being enjoyed twenty years later.Apr 9, 2012 at 10:10 am #1865303
Diana NevinsBPL Member
@artemisLocale: Great Plains
I think John Cooper nailed it. People know that young couples today often have been living on their own for a while before getting married and therefore have less need of the "traditional" wedding gifts such as china and linens, and they want to give a gift that will actually be appreciated. As long as you don't register ONLY at REI but include some more traditional department stores as well, list items in a wide range of prices at each place you register, and list items you'd actually find useful to receive, I think your wedding guests will be happy.Apr 9, 2012 at 10:12 am #1865304
I personally would not put "hobby" gifts on a wedding registry. I have never looked at a backpacking item as a life investment. There will always be a lighter, techier, flavor-of-the-month item to come along. So in my opinion gifts such as; ropes, tents, and headlamps, do not match the occasion.
A wedding conveys life long commitment, love, long suffering, joy, sacrifice, timelessness. Dinnerware, quality tools, art, furniture, items that meet everyday life needs… are more in line with those attributes than camping gear.
That's my opinion.Apr 9, 2012 at 10:41 am #1865318
But cooking and home improvement are also hobbies to many people…I don't see how asking for that awesome new kitchen appliance (which will also go out of style and become obsolete in a few years)or power saw is any different than asking for that awesome new two person tent that you and your wife will enjoy together as a married couple.
Personally, I think what matters is asking for gifts that will enrich your life as a married couple, not what type of item it is.Apr 9, 2012 at 11:03 am #1865332
Paul MagnantiBPL Member
@paulmagsLocale: People's Republic of Boulder
I am getting married this September as well.
Until I moved to Colorado, I did not even know what a wedding registry was. Growing up, at the weddings, there was a gift box (nicely wrapped) where people would stick cards and cash in it for the new couple.
Maybe it was a working-class Catholic thing, but that was what family and friends did back in the day. Adrianna also had a similar experience growing up over in central Europe.
Fast-forward to 2012. Seems a registry is now part and parcel of the wedding industry.
Adrianna and I are in our late 30s, have been living together for over two years and are comfortable enough with what we need. We also really don't want a bunch of stuff that we are going to have to put in storage. Do we really need five types of bamboo salad bowls? Three different types of butter dishes? And so on… And pay for it in storage until we have the room to use it?
We really don't/want need gifts. But we also recognize that people often don't feel comfortable veering from tradition or what is expected. Friends expect a registry. Our families want to give us gifts (or even cash!).
So we decided to go a compromise. On our wedding website (talking about 2012 vs 1990! :D), we said if you want to give a gift, gift cards from certain places will be welcome.
We picked four places where shop and can use stuff. Among them is a local outfitter.
I figure it is our wedding. If this gauche to say "No gifts please..but giftcards are fine" so be it.
We are having our wedding in a picnic ground with burgers and beer and our 'lodging' is a group campground. So what's a little more non-tradition? :)
If we listened to our Colorado friends, we'd be in Bed, Bath and Beyond all day rather than playing outside. Spending way too much time inside planning for what is supposed to be a celebration of our life in Colorado.
If we listed to our families, it would be a 'prom wedding' with a Catholic church, a macaroni and chicken dinner, stretch limos and matching pink poofy dresses.
It is your wedding day. Do what works for you. Register at REI, let your friends celebrate your life the way you want to.
(Should also add we paying for everything out of own pockets….)Apr 9, 2012 at 11:09 am #1865333
I have friends who registered just at REI. They got themselves completely outfitted. Then they went off on their honeymoon with matching backpacks. I thought it was romantic!Apr 9, 2012 at 11:21 am #1865339
@kieranLocale: Seattle, WA
>>"I have never looked at a backpacking item as a life investment."
I always have. I know it's weird to some people, but my hobby gear is my most important investment. It's the tools I need to access what makes me happy. I can't remember for the life of me what my dinnerware or silverware was 10 years ago when I got married, but I remember every single trip into the wilderness. Those are trips I can't take if I don't have gear. Those are trips I wouldn't have taken with my wife and kid without that gear. Those trips make us a very tight knit family.Apr 9, 2012 at 11:28 am #1865340
Mary DBPL Member
@hikinggrannyLocale: Gateway to Columbia River Gorge
A relatively old-fashioned grandma weighs in here:
It is YOUR wedding! There is nothing wrong with registering at an outdoor store. My youngest son and his fiance registered at REI for their wedding in the early 1990's, so yours is not a brand new concept. As long as you have also registered at a "traditional" alternative for those few who think only household items are suitable, go for it!
Despite registries, nearly all couples I know end up with several blenders and/or food processors, a bunch of sheets none of which fit their bed, a zillion mismatched dish towels and no way to exchange the stuff without hurting someone's feelings by asking for the receipts. My daughter received two food processors (those registries don't always work to prevent duplication) and, worse yet, two of those George Forman grill gizmos although she had never registered for them and she and her husband are both vegetarian! At least REI will take their stuff back!
From my wedding back in 1958, the one item that I still have, hanging on the wall in front of me as I type, is a metal tray that was hand-painted (tole painting) for me by one of my aunts (long since deceased). I've never used it as a tray because it is, IMHO, a work of art! Everything else is long gone.
Even back then, we'd far rather have received a tent than all the mismatched sheets and towels!Apr 9, 2012 at 11:56 am #1865354
(which will also go out of style and become obsolete in a few years)
I think we are talking about differing quality of items. I don't buy items that I intend to use everyday; plates, tools, kitchen mixers… that would break down or be obsolete within 3 years.
I have a 48 year old tablesaw that is better than any tablesaw you could buy today.Apr 9, 2012 at 12:02 pm #1865355
I doubt anything made today would last 48 years, no matter the quality or price.
I own a few old pieces of kitchenware that I couldn't replace the quality if I bought the most expensive comparable item today.
Nonetheless, I still think backpacking gear is appropriate. :)Apr 9, 2012 at 12:08 pm #1865358
Totally appropriate! Remember to do the same for the baby showers too.Apr 9, 2012 at 12:20 pm #1865365
"We are having our wedding in a picnic ground with burgers and beer and our 'lodging' is a group campground. So what's a little more non-tradition?"
I am so jealous of this.
….back on the gift registry topic. A lot of you said that for people like us tents, stoves, backpacks, etc, are part of daily living. That makes so much sense to me. I work to backpack/climb. We dont own a tv or gadgets because we would rather be outside. A sleeping bag makes way more sense to us then a new comforter.
Plus, I have spent the last six months simplifying my life, selling old stuff I never use on ebay/craigs and I have finally gotten to a point where our house is organized and we dont have piles of junk stacked in every closet. We have everything we could ever need now and I dont want to live in a house with 10 rooms that I dont use and closets full of things that we have forgotten about. Climbing gear will get used every few days, backpacking gear ever week or two, and a set of beautiful china would get used about once every three years. Hmm, in that sense it would be wasteful for me to NOT register at REI! Yes?Apr 9, 2012 at 12:29 pm #1865370
Oh and thank you for all of the replies! Both my fiance and I read all of them and are happy to hear that most of you like the idea!Apr 9, 2012 at 12:33 pm #1865372
Paul JohnsonBPL Member
I'm curious. What was the rational for the two sets of parents objections?Apr 9, 2012 at 12:38 pm #1865378
Stephen BarberBPL Member
OP: "Is it rude to fill a wedding registry with backpacking gear?"
Definitely! You should also include some kayaking, climbing, and cycling gear for your friends who are not backpackers. To ignore their favorite outdoor pursuits is quite rude!Apr 9, 2012 at 12:46 pm #1865380
"I doubt anything made today would last 48 years, no matter the quality or price."
One example. Check out Falk Copper Cookware. Handmade in Belgium. There's still quality out there. You just have to do your research and bite the bullet when it comes to price. But realize your great-grandchildren will benefit from your prudence.Apr 9, 2012 at 12:47 pm #1865382
Jeff GerkeBPL Member
Yes, it is totally appropriate. My wife and I registered at REI when we got married 18 years ago. The gifts we got from the REI register got way more use than the traditional gifts. Enjoying the outdoors together has been a huge part of what makes our marriage so great. Now we have three kids and we just got done taking them all backpacking in Coyote Gulch last week. We use our china once a year, talking about a waste. It's funny cause my wife didn't want to register for china but her mom made her.Apr 9, 2012 at 1:02 pm #1865389
@tylerdLocale: SE US
To clarify, I don't think ANYONE should register for china, I can't hardly think of a bigger waste of money.
However I do think it is not the right thing to register for gear for hobbies. There is a reason why wedding gifts are for the new life/home. It's about starting fresh with nice things for you and your new bride to make a home. I think your parents are a more accurate reflection of the people that will be attending your wedding buying you the gifts and I think they are saying it's not a good idea for a reason.
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