Well, that's why I asked about budget. :) But let's see what we can get for the price of a Big Agnes Scout…
The last thing anyone should buy is a backpack anyway. There is no point in buying an ultralight pack if everything else is heavy. I see it all the time on hunting forums: people buy an ultralight pack, then complain they break when they tried to stuff 50 lbs of food and gear into it.
So, I wouldn't really worry about getting a new pack until you get the entire thing down to about 10 to 12 lbs (with the current pack), then switching to a lighter pack will have more an advantage.
Hell, just to show that I am not some "ultralight" fundamentalist, I am ordering a Stone Glacier Solo in a few days (3.63 lbs at the bare minimum, 3.87 with the extras).
I understand in regard to two-person deal since we live in cougar country, so that mean taking the dog inside the tent. Doing that means the tent need to be two- or three-person.
Anyway, my girlfriend is going through the same thing as you are. Her old tent was a Fjallraven and two summers ago, it got moldy because we only got one hour of sunshine a day and never dried out during the four or six weeks we camped. She spent about $2 000 on it, and got rid of it a season later. We lived out of my old Asolo which had less surface area.
I have been thinking about getting a Tarptent Squall 2 (34 oz, which is 2 oz more than the Scout) for my girlfriend if she doesn't like my pyramid tent. A two-person tent with bath thub floor is important to her, and she probably only need the Notch (26 oz), but she has dogs so room is important. They are a bit "heavy," but still an upgrade from the Fjallraven.
I could buy her ZPack Hexmid Twin (18 oz, $530 USD) but if she knew what I spent on one, someone would be promptly dumped. Much rather keep our relationshp intact at least until I can cinvince her cuben are like diamonds.
But last winter, I ordered a Locus Gear Khufu (exchange rate at the time was better for me than ordering from the States), and we will be testing it this summer. Will have to order an innermesh too for her comfort. She is still uncertain about going floorless.
But if we succeed in the summer with a pyramid tent, then I probably would buy her Mountain Laurel Design Duomid (12 oz) or Locus Gear Hapi (17 oz) with a floored innermesh (10 – 16 oz). She's quite not ready to jump into the world of floorless just yet. Keep in mind, these data are for silnylon which are affordable; not cuben which is half the weight, but four times as expensive.
The biggest reason for me to go with tents this light is backpack hunting where I can't really compromise any further with a 5.75 lbs shotgun without calling ethics (smaller gauges) into question. The second reason is because the last few years, we had constant rain, and a tent with less surface area dries off mroe quickly.
There are lighter ones out there on the market, but it's venturing in the territory of using tarps and not everyone is comfortable with that.
As far as sleeping bags go, she's interested in a quilt, but is having a hard time justifying letting go of her Marmot considering how expensive it was. Nevermind that bag is too warm for her. So, I probably will gift that too someday after she tries mine.
You don't have to buy these, but it's just kind of humorous someone dear to me is in the same boat as you are.