I have a DIY rain fly that I use with my hiking poles point down stabbed into the ground (not the standard method). I think this is what you’re doing. I don’t have a ‘patch’ to protect the Silnylon and so far I’ve not had any problems. There’s not a specific spot for where the handles meet the fabric. I have stuffed a sock between the handle of my walking pole and the silnylon when there were high winds. I think this is a useful workaround if you start noticing wear at one spot.
My set-up method is that I have a length of line that has two loops in it. I stab one pole into the ground, put one loop, then put the loop over the handle of the other pole and then use this distance to stab that pole. Next I stake out from each pole and then put the fly over the top. Not the most efficient set-up (and so far I haven’t encountered any stab proof ground). It is nearly idiot proof, which I’m an expert.
Now that I’m thinking… what if you made a ‘sock’ that slid down over the pole handle. The bottom of the ‘sock’ -where it’s sewn to your tent, could be your wear spot. (wear would come from movement, not from force) To set up, insert your pole handles into the socks and then stab one in the ground and then the other. the sock wouldn’t have to be snug, just tight enough that the handle doesn’t just drop out. This would avoid all the excess ‘clothes-line’ stringing I do.