My advice is don't get too hung up on the gender specific packs. They do have some advantages- somewhat narrower on the shoulder straps where they connect to the bag, the shoulder straps sometimes come in an S shape to go around the outside of the breasts which is nicer for large busted women, often the sternum strap is lower to accommodate the breasts, and the hip belt is made somewhat differently to accommodate wider hips and usually is somewhat cushier.
That said, for me the most important aspect of a pack turned out to be the length. I didn't realize until a couple years ago that I have a freakishly long torso for a woman – my torso is 21" measured from the knobby part of the spine that can be seen just below the neck when you tilt your neck forward to the line at my hipbones. It explained a lot about why so many packs just made me miserable. I got a Granite Gear Vapor Trail in a long and I love that pack. It's so incredibly comfortable. Would a Granite Gear in a women's cut feel better for me? Maybe, but I have zero complaints about this bag. The shoulder straps feel fine, their attachment points are fine, the hip belt is cushy and feels great.
Since you want just one, I'd focus just getting one that fits you well (get measured by someone who knows what they're doing) that will hold your maximum load but that has plenty of compression straps so you can adjust it for width and length. Leaving your sleeping bag loose inside the pack can do wonders for filling in the gaps when you have a small loadout. I've gotten where I prefer not to compress my sleeping bag into a stuff sack because I can feel it like a hard lump against my back, where if I leave it uncompressed and just use it to fill in the open space in the bag it's more comfortable and it keeps my load more stable to boot. It also lofts more quickly when I take it out at camp. I do use a pack liner to keep everything dry inside.
For size, I can only guess but you're probably going to want something that will do 50-60 liters. That will be less if you go full UL, and more if you have heavy/bulky gear. A lot of people like the Osprey Exos line as a nice balance between lightweight and comfort. They make a 48L and a 58L pack. Granite Gear makes some women-specific models. You probably want to steer away from frameless UL type backpacks for now unless you've already fine-tuned your weight down to less than 20 lbs. Most frameless packs cease to be comfortable once you go over the 20 lb mark. I'd avoid most Gregory, Arcteryx, North Face, etc. which are heavily stocked at REI but are generally rather heavy. Shoot for a pack that weighs less than 3 lbs – less being better. The Exos 58 I mentioned above is 2lb 6oz for a medium torso length.
For options- that's going to depend on you. Some people love to have outside pockets/mesh and others hate it because those things can snag on brush when you're walking through it. Some people like a removable top bag and some people see them as unnecessary and one more thing to fail. Some people like a zippered bag, some people prefer the more bombproof drawstring design. Personally I like to have two side pockets on my bag and rear mesh, and then on the hip belt I like pockets also so I've got access to some items without having to reach behind me (which can be awkward) or taking my pack off. Not all packs come with hipbelt pockets- my pack doesn't, but the person I bought it from added a couple in cuben fiber and they work great.
