Woman Has Lost Her Mind and Needs Advice

What an amusing thread. I'll second Roger's suggestion of the Bryson book. You and he should both read it, chuckle over the hilarious bits, then discuss the relationship between Bryson and Katz and how it evolved. Not that they're especially analogous to your situation but a relationship–any relationship–will go through a massive restructuring during an all-consuming task like a thru-hike.

Seconded also on a test trip or three to make sure you're dialed into the sleeping-and-living-on-dirt thing. Some are, some learn to be and some never arrive. Which are you?

Cheers,

Rick

p.s. Far easier to do something like this young than to wait until your life uncomplicates itself enough to make it easy, later. That basically never happens.

Dear Jeff,

you're killin' me here.

i don't even…hahaha, oh man. if that happens, i'll be sure to write about it. in the novelization. because really.

also: have read A Walk in the Woods, i laughed. he's read it too, we laughed about it together, as well. made lots of "pangea" jokes in reference to the entire chapters of non-trail related rambling. it was great.

storyline update:

i told him. well, not on my own terms…he walked by my computer (i have a huge mac display that is anything but subtle) when i was reading an email i got from someone after posting my address. later, while cooking dinner, he attacked me off-guard with random AT trivia questions, at one point saying "approximately how long would it take me…" etc. etc. " — or, should i say US?!" then started to harass me about "why was i emailing someone about that" etc.

i fake-lied, it was humorously transparent (i said "oh, it was about this meeting that was going to be AT 7:00pm, and they wanted to emphasize the at"…). he called me out, and then he flailed in excitement about me wanting to go; proceeding to go on tangent after tangent for the next few days, ended up taking me along to the outfitter yesterday. he's pretty d*mn excited.

i must say, i'm a little surprised at just how positive his response was, BUT HEY, it's all good.

Why not! You are in excellent condition and if you can wrangle the time, you have a opportunity. As you are into endurance sports, you won't have many surprises on your physical ability. The journey begins with the first step…

As I read your thread, I had some first impressions. No show stoppers, just impressions on what you might find different from racing:

I agree with Roger– you will be in more danger in a car on the way to the trialhead than on the trail. The AT is long and challenging, but I don't think it is as dangerous as the higher mountain routes in the West.

Finding a diet that agrees with you, for months on end. You don't sound like someone who would want to eat processed/packaged food for long.

You might find the walking monotonous compared to running races. In a similar way, you might find it challenging to match your daily goals with your hiking partner's (I hike solo much for that reason).

Bugs. Snakes and bears might seem dangerous; bugs can make you crazy if you are bothered by them, or aren't used to living with them. Repellent and bug nets work. Be prepared.

I would take a few test trips to tweak your gear. You already understand the clothing and metabolism issues, but you might want to test your sleep system and pack fit/comfort. You can test packs just walking locally with a realistic load. Sleep systems vary in comfort (hard ground) and temperature tolerance. Sleeping well will help everything.

Speaking of packs, as a runner, you may be light in the arms and shoulders. Getting a good fit will help your comfort, assuming you aren't used to carrying loads and what I assume will be the biggest physical challenge for you. You have the legs/heart/lungs for the trip. Perhaps some good upper body strength building exercises? This will get you over the hump of the first few weeks– you will be conditioned after that no matter what :)

You can tweak gear as you go. There will be outfitters along the way and you will find what works for you.

You're in the right place. You can also find blogs on line from people who have done thru-hikes to get more info and a feel for the ebb and flow of traveling with someone for months on end.

It may just be your first thru-hike. There are more :)

Have FUN. We live on an amazing planet. Living in nature and traveling through it under your own power is the best way to experience it.

> i must say, i'm a little surprised at just how positive his response was,
> BUT HEY, it's all good.

Frankly, I am not at all surprised. I could see that coming from a long way off. Also, (also) the advantages (for him) of having a known partner are immense.

Short story.
There was a (horse-drawn) caravan of settlers heading west over the Rockies way back in 'those days'. They were late in the year and got caught by the snows, and had to camp for the winter. Very mixed party – elderly couples, families, young men, the lot. Guess who survived till the spring?

NOT the young men: they mostly had accidents and died. The families mostly did survive, and even some of the elderly couples. Why? The young single men were too macho, but the members of the family groups looked after each other. Having a partner who cares about you matters.

Go, and enjoy.

Cheers

Roger, are you thinking of the Donner family?

Do it, just have fun. Take many photos!

"There was a (horse-drawn) caravan of settlers heading west over the Rockies way back in 'those days'. They were late in the year and got caught by the snows, and had to camp for the winter."

That was the Donner-Reed Party in 1846-1847. Their reconstructed cabins are visible just north of Lake Tahoe.

They brought a new meaning to the phrase "invite a friend to dinner."

–B.G.–

The scenario Roger describes was not unique to the Donner Party. It was common for women to survive longer than the men, and not just because men took on more risk.

Makes sense, we need more women than we do men to keep things going…..

Update/ridiculous question:

He talked to some friends that have already thru-hiked the AT…and all of the sudden he's changing his tune from starting in May to starting in March. On one hand, from what I have read personally, this makes a lot of sense …seems to be the normal starting time for summer hikers… however, I can't join him until May. Conveniently, he is coming back home in early May for his best friend's wedding (the one he was supposed to hike with, funny enough), at which point I could join him.

My question:

If I get on the trail at his point six weeks in, and I finish it (INSANELY optimistic hypothetical here) — how irritated am I going to be that I didn't get that first section of the trail in that he did without me? I am slightly OCD about exact mile distances, being a runner. Please tell me now if this is laughable, and the actually cumulative distance is irrelevant, and I should be more worried about my brain being rewired into some Henry David Thoreau woods-dweller.

I guess I could always go back and do that part by myself at the end, anyway.

So some of you guys like backpacking with your wives, eh? Interesting.

PS. If anyone knows of any really great old threads with some classic info that they have bookmarked or saved, that's just great general advice, classes are over for the fall and I am ready to sponge up all the freaking info I can. Please send suggestions my way!

It's hard to say how you'll feel about skipping the first six weeks. It depends a lot on why you're out there.

But one thing does strike me about picking up at six weeks in – he will be strong, in the routine, probably flying. It could have all sorts of unintended consequences.

Some serious thought is required here.

Good call Greg,

his legs will be under him without a doubt. He'd have to be patient for the first couple a days. Maybe you could share some of your pack weight with him;)

And if by you're OCD about finishing every mile, counting miles, etc my guess is that it'll drive you crazy. It probably won't be as bad as stopping short of the finish, but it'll sting.

That said, waaaaaa- since you have this chance, which *may* be a once in a lifetime- DO IT. Better to kick yourself for 200 miles than 2200

plus the flowers on the tent will make you feel batter :)

My opinion: Hiking the AT (or PCT or CDT or any other months long) should be done when it is the most important thing in YOUR LIFE AT THAT TIME. Don't do it for anybody or anything else. It IS ALL ABOUT YOU.

You asked: So some of you guys like backpacking with your wives, eh?
My wife seldom backpacks. She will do a week in Yosemite in summer. She is very clear in not liking backpacking in the East (bugs, rain, humidity, sweaty stinkiness, etc). I do like backpacking in the West, but I also like the East and all its challenges. Going ultralight, solo works well for me and her. We've been married over 34 years.

My wife's biggest concern before she tried her first multi-day backpacking trip was p-ing and poo-ping. Make sure you perfect your technique on a few short trips before the AT hike. When the AT gets crowded during peaks times the shelter privies get really nasty. One of the first times my wife tried to use one during a day hike, she almost puked. She said she'd never sleep in a shelter due to the rampant mice.

I'd predict that you'd have a great AT hike if you are doing it because YOU REALLY WANT TO DO IT, but will drop out like most of the people that start a AT hike because they don't get what they were expecting.

If you are like me and many BPL members then you'd jump on the chance to hike for months if you had the time and nothing else more important. Many members have done the AT and the other long trails. I'd bet that those that have been successful did their hikes because it was the most important thing in their lives at that time.

Please don't assume the lowest common denominator about my approach to this.

I wouldn't be here, asking the questions I'm asking, if that were the case. This has been on my mind regularly since April.
It's not about wanting/not wanting, that decision has long been made. It's about the potential pitfalls associated with rushing into something I feel I don't know *enough* about. So far, I feel like I've been right on track with my imaginings, assumptions, and general ideas. This isn't the first place I came for information, but I do regard it as probably one of the richest sources yet.

I appreciate all input, but I just want to be clear that I'm not being hardheaded or impetuous about this.

Hello. While not imperative, it'd be nice to at least know your first name, makes a chat that much more personal, don't you think?

Regardless, I think you're wise to search out potential pitfalls, as long as you don't let those pitfalls keep you from doing the hike. Regardless of how much research you do, you'll encounter pitfalls that no one else thought of because they're particular to you. We all do. Pitfalls are fine, it's how you react to them that matters. And I think you're on the right track for the simple fact that you're imagining at all, some people forget to do so. Even fewer actually act on their imagination. Acting is good.

Lastly, impetuousness gets a bad rap. Too many people focus on the negative aspects — hasty, reckless, careless, foolhardy — and not enough on the positive aspects — spontaneous, impromptu, spur-of-the-moment.

So go. And be impetuous if you want. In the good way.

Doug,
I see she goes by "killer".

Hi AA

> I just want to be clear that I'm not being hardheaded or impetuous about this.
I think you have to BE hardheaded and impetuous to do something like a thru-hike.

If we all waited until we really knew enough about what we are planning on doing, we probably would get nowhere. My wife and I go off on some really hard walks at times, into areas we know very little about. Problem is, no-one else knows much about those areas either. Myths and rumours, but no hard data. We have found some amazing places.

At least, in this case, you KNOW that other people have done the walk AND that you are fit enough. (And that you can bail out if there is a real problem.) What more do you need?

Cheers

hey everyone again,

just a quick good news update (well, for me):

we talked about it a lot more, ran over some dates and what not, and then a few days later he throws it out there that he's seriously thinking about waiting until next summer, "because it would be better for both of us".

I think he's right. basically everything is pointing to next summer being far more ideal: I'd be able to do the whole trail, he wouldn't have to fly out to two weddings smack in the middle, and we'll both have a more realistic budget to deal with. also this gives us plenty of time to become hiking partners, and I don't have to cram in 15 credit hours this semester (against my advisor's advising) and can graduate in the summer instead.

at the moment, he's "pretty sure" that's going to be the final decision.
what's great, is that now I'm that much more confident that my decision isn't hasty or retarded. I can now embrace this activity without making some declarative commitment. in short: I'm totally thrilled. everything you guys have offered has been fantastic, and only made feel that much more sure I want to explore an activity with such a great community of people standing behind it.

PS. I'm getting "him" (ok, us) a backpacking tent for Christmas. he's been lugging some ancient 7lbs+ piece of crap around for god knows how long. HAHA I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIS FACE.

Good call! You'll have this spring/summer/fall to spend plenty of time working out the kinks of your hiking and camping technique, getting in specific shape for backpacking, etc.

Keep us up-dated!!!!