Great info everyone, thanks so much! Keep it coming. We already purchased the Ti-Tri Caldera. Probably use it mainly for Alcohal, but I like the wood option and it's combined weight with my new Evernew 1.3 pot is WAY lighter than the full kit we were lugging around below.
Based upon the fact that my daughter is still not completely free of bed wetting on occasion, we will probably seek out a couple used North Face Tiggers and use those for a few more years before migrating to down bags. We are in the 8-10,000 foot range of backpacking in the Sierra's so we need something pretty warm.
I'm eyeballing the Tarptent Rainshadow 2 tent, but need more input from some of you folks as to whether you think that would work with two adults and two very small kids for awhile before having to add another second smaller tent. This move could save us another 4+ pounds.
My wife and I picked up Marmot Heliums at the recent REI sale for 25% off, so that saved another 3 pounds apiece!
Packs will probably be the last to get replaced after we find out how light and how small a volume we can get still lugging the bulk of the gear for the four of us. More later as we keep working on this.

