Isaac-
Almost regardless of the pack you get, you'll end up hunched against it to some degree. Reason? When you stick any kind of weight behind you it shifts your center of gravity. Alternatives: Keep your pack as light as possible… if anyone was ever a candidate for a UL/SUL set up, it's you. Go for a base weight of ten pounds or so, shouldn't be too hard especially if you're traveling with someone and can split shelter and cooking weights. When you pack whatever weight you have, make sure that the heaviest and densest things are as close to your back as possible. Stack things higher in the pack, rather than shoving them all into a short fat package. Lastly, I could be off base here, but I've worn some particularly rigid frames that are so good at transferring weight to my hips that all my shoulders did was stabilize the pack a little… and if felt like I could stand a little more upright. The Osprey Exos was one of these, and another was actually an external frame pack. My guess is I still leaned forward a bit, hard to escape the laws of physics. But worth considering.
Also, I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about bending frame stays. It's very hard to do effectively, and much of the time you'd be better served by getting a pack that fits you better from the get-go. Another plug for the Exos, it has a trampoline-style mesh back that would conform to the shape of pretty much any back, negating the need to shape the pack to you.