Uncovering the Truth: Underground Doping in the Long Distance Hiking Community

No disrespect to folks who are serious hiking goal seekers , but I've never been terribly interested in stories by or about folks whose records were based on time. Hiking is not about mph. I suppose it's why speedwalking never attracted much of an audience.

I shuddered when I read the earlier post about dihydro-monooxygen. For the sake of god, just say NO.

I'm a recovering dihydro-monooxygen abuser. Or was until after reading the post. I was just too weak. It is just too strong.

I use it in vapor form. This process can be found on the internet easily. Basically you heat the substance to 100 degrees C. Then the magic begins. Ghostly spells begin to rise. This is when you inhale it. Hold on a minute, I just lost my train of thought.

Oh yeah – that picture of the guy with the hamburger in his mouth his freaking me out – anyway, yesterday while tripping on dihydro-monooxygen I hiked and the trees looked skeletal. The trail would go up and then down and then around. My legs grew weary. Birds seemed to chirp weird little chirpy things. A yellow butterfly flew by me.

Please stay away from this stuff. The saddest case I've heard about was this guy that would literally bathe in it. Medical reports indicated pruned phalanges.

I gotta git me some of that! I haven't had that much fun since the revenuers smashed gramma's still!

Who cares? Im a soldier in Iraq. We take many such pills and powders to stay alert and keep energy levels up. NoXplode and Phenylalanine in gum and diet soft drinks, not to mention enough red bulls to drown yourself in come to mind. Granted further backpacking is much safer than being an infantry grunt clearing houses. If you do something really stupid and kill yourself on the trail, your dead. Do the same here and you are probably going to take youre guys down with you. Do what you want to do. Thats why you all cut your pack weights. No one made you.

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"just so ya know, the article was published April 1."

There ain't no such thing in Iraq, Dave. :)