You're not the only one who has had issued adjusting the poles when they first arrive. It's easy to twist them too much. Sometimes it's hard to believe that half a turn is all it takes to adjust the poles, especially after coming from Lekis that required much more work.
When I was getting used to the poles and I loosened the poles so that the expander came off, I'd pull the shaft completely out. After it was out, I'd take the cap off the handle, take out the replacement expander, give one intense blowing of air thru the pole, and catch the stuck expander with an awaiting hand at the other end. I could never get Quoddy's trick to work out just right by pushing the pole in all the way and tightening it against the other end. I've found that sometimes the washers come off as well and wind up in the pole a bit slanted. This makes it tricky to get a pole tightened inside the outer shaft.
Great poles though, obviously.