David,
Surely there's SOMETHING unacceptable about you. The omissions in your laundry list of "I'm nots" might give us clues.
Already know (suspect?) you are a chemical engineer, so that's not it.
You left handed?
Simultaneously left brained and right brained?
Hunchbacked?
A carnivorous vegan?
OH, I got it …. you're just too #$%^&*( reasonable!
BTW, if you ever manage to score a waste site project in MN pls let me know … I suspect I'd really enjoy hiking with you.