route names

[larry savage]

Got pretty slacked looking at my one post about "death" so thought I try to move it on down.
I caught some free time when a job didn't gel and took a quick run through of Frenchman's Coulee [also known as Vantage]climbing area.
Lot's of basalt routes, ok, it's all basalt routes
Did a run up a chimney route called Seven Virgins and a Mule, 5.7 which brought back this quote –
"Anybody can put up a classic route, but it takes real talent to come up with a great route name." Charlie Fowler.
Since I'm not primarily a rock climber anything I ever named came out something like "Grunty Desperate Sweat Pocket of Death"
A few of us might remember Ray Jardine as the first person to climb 5.13a [The Phoenix, Yosemite]in 1977 and the part of the first team to free climb the West Face of El Cap in 1979 so somehow this is an appropriate thread, eh?
The worse mistake any climber can make is to name a route after their girl or boyfriend. It is an instant relationship ender. Of course every rock climber I ever met was either struggling to get a girlfriend or keep their girlfriend, I just have to assume it crosses the gender line the other way too as I'm somewhat lacking in funds for the surgery and hormone therapy required to test my hypothesis.
The actual aged icon Fred Beckey

lost his girlfriend eleven secoonds after naming a route for her, the Vasiliki Tower.
Vasiliki Tower on the left.
[Beckey invented the Puffing Effect to Pick Up Girls requiring all hardware, ropes, etc to on the pack's outside of whichever lackey was acting as the B-Sherpa attracting the maximum female attention and companionship.]
The only other route of Beckey's I can remember is Nixon's Nose up in the Enchantments.
I went through quite a stretch where I would crawl back to the pub bragging on some complete brain freeze of a climb I just finished being informed the Donini did it in the 70s [or Beckey in the 40s] wasting whatever glorious piece of imagination I had transfered to my masterpiece.
So on to the question – great route names – line'em up, guys and gals.

[Gary Boyd]

I'll throw some out from the local crag that I like:

Legends of the Falls
Wheres my bourbon?

(as a set)
Cheerio Bowl
Raisin Brain
Lucky Charms

Three Hour Tour
Cowboys and Crossdressers

(as a set)
Cut Throat
Sore Throat
Deep Throat

[larry savage]

Is there a route nearby called the Minnow?
That's a great name.

[Jason Wine]

In Golden, Co:

Deck Chairs on the Titanic

Near Aspen, Co on the Butt Wall:

1. Left Cheek, 5.9
2. Going Greek 5.9
3. Butt Crack 5.8
4. Little Flatulence, 5.8

[larry savage]

We need to go put up a "Dance Band on the Titanic" now, be sure to use adequate protection on that other group, eh?

[Jace Mullen]

I was at a new crag, and found a route that i *thought* the guide book said was a 5.6, so i was going to do it as a nice sport route warm up. I was wrong. it was actually a 5.11 d. The whole time i was like "why is this 5.6 sport kicking my butt? I can climb 5.10 trad!" the route was appropriately named:
Master Of Defeat

it just fit that climb. I really should go try that route agian!

-Jace

[Rod Lawlor]

Two names I like at a crag up the highway at Tallarook

Motorcycle Yobbo Ride on Down
and
Stolen Car Descent Route

Probably not worth wearing a helmet for either of these. The route description suggests that either can be top roped over the tow ball of your car.

[Julian Watson]

I guess we're not going near the names at Nowra, then ? I always liked 'The Arete of Terrible Disfigurement'

[YAMABUSHI !]

"Sweat of the Rapist" V10

"Mechadon's White Thunder" V7ish ??

[W I S N E R !]

Jesus Built My Tricam
So you wanna F@ck With Conan?

[John Brochu]

I climbed a route this summer in RMNP called, "Magical Chrome Plated Semi-Automatic Enema Syringe." I wasn't really sure what the hell that was supposed to mean but it turned out to be a decent moderate.

[Christopher Plesko]

Haha I've climbed that one.

[larry savage]

Harry Potter Needs a Condom

Non-fat Angel Jam

Roy Rogers is Still Looking for Trigger

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