thought I'd share this, rough form as it's in. I had a lot of trouble on this trip with elevation sickness – I've had my share of issues the last few years, and perhaps this trip was over ambitious in some ways for me. I was lucky, very lucky, to have two trip partners who were alert, aware, accommodating, easy going and sympathetic – Dave and Ken, I really, really can't ever thank you enough for helping me through a couple rough patches and being there. At times I felt great, which only magnified the times when things became very challenging very fast for me – you two guys really made it possible for me to finish this trip and changed my perspective somewhat on what matters, and it is exactly who you are that matters. It's people, friends, like Dave and Ken that make the trips – the challenges, the beauty are all essential and amazing elements, but it's the human element that makes the trip, that makes it a life experience. Thanks guys.
So Alive
I've never felt so vulnerable, so weak
so alive
the mountains, thin air, ice fields, boulders
the pounding sun
all at once magnificent
stark
gigantically gigantic
immesurably unbelievably vast
grey stone granite rock, lasting
age-d
cold
I look back down and there they are
keeping me going
Dave, much younger and stronger
staying behind
compassion I never knew at his age
only strive for now
he's making sure
he's keeping Ken in sight
and me in sight, in check
pacing me from behind
and there is Ken, too
with a smiling nod
we are all here
all climbing, climbing, climbing
heart pounding, pounding, pounding, pounding
and there is that last lake
before the big climb
ever smaller, ever smaller
gasping
I climb in front
amazed at what I do
especially after my earlier troubles
but I'm not in front to race
not to race Ken or Dave
only time
a race I know can't be won
I don't tell them
about the irregular heart beats
racing
the dizzy, nausea
up here, out here, this far
the cold stone and frozen snow
and miles left to go
so far
so cold
Up, up, up
to the top
it's not my day to die
which is a joy
I cannot lie
many miles to go
i think of Frost
many more miles to go
each step one more in time
each step is mine
for now
the stone, the sky, the rock, the ice
the vastness and beauty and timelessness
watches on
it's not my day to die
i've never felt so vulnerable, so weak
so alive
