Dick Cheney and fluorescent bandanas

[Michael Skwarczek]

I can't believe that in all these years of backpacking, I somehow missed the joy of hunting season exploding on my trail network.

Disclaimer: This isn't a troll about Dick Cheney or Hunting.

Los Padres NF opened the Sespe Mountains to hunters this last week and really surprised the heck out of me. Lots of trucks, lots of trail trash, (trailer trash too!), lots of camo suits, and lots and lots of guns, guns, guns. OK, it didn't just surprise me, it scared me. Something about the camouflaged figures appearing suddenly on the trail spooked me nearly as much as my last bear encounter. Most importantly, outside of just being disturbed by the guys, I had to seriously consider the potential of my buddy or I getting shot. We discussed picking up fluorescent orange bandanas but decided this was flirting with a level of risk and danger way out of our control.

So, we got the heck out of Dodge and drove to a trail head that no self-respecting hunter would bother stalking. The day and night and day continued to be peppered with dull thunder claps in the distance but at least we didn't have to worry about someone pulling a Dick Cheney on us.

I'm really pretty upset that these guys are going to own some of my favorite local wilderness, but at least it's just for a month… twice a year.

-Michael

[Rick Dreher]

I find it very hard to keep track of when the various types of huntin' are open in the many zones. Then there's the reality that while the majority of hunters are skilled and prudent, that leaves some unknown percentage who are not, and they're also out there sporting powerful rifles.

I used to have a used car lot fluorescent antenna flag to hoist above my backpack during deer season. Wonder where it ended up?

Like you, I try to avoid it altogether.

[Matt Brodhead]

What were they hunting for? I know in Michigan deer season is really popular, but hunters only go out during the morning and at night.

I still like the idea of staying away from them though. Booze + Hunting + Me walking around is not a good idea by any means.

[Roger Caffin]

TOM LEHRER – The Hunting Song

"Almost every day during the hunting season you see at least one item in the newspapers about somebody who has shot somebody else, under the impression that he was a deer with a red hat, perhaps. Maybe a large flesh-colored squirrel. At any rate, it seems to me that this marks an
encouraging new trend in the field of blood sports, and deserves a new type of hunting song which I present herewith.

I always will remember,
'Twas a year ago November,
I went out to hunt some deer
On a morning bright and clear.
I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow:
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

I was in no mood to trifle,
I took down my trusty rifle
And went out to stalk my prey.
What a haul I made that day!
I tied them to my fender, and I drove them home somehow:
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

The law was very firm, it
Took away my permit,
The worst punishment I ever endured.
It turned out there was a reason,
Cows were out of season,
And one of the hunters wasn't insured.

People ask me how I do it,
And I say "There's nothin' to it,
You just stand there lookin' cute,
And when something moves, you shoot!"
And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now:
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred Guernsey cow."

[Jesse Glover]

According to the national forest website they allow target shooting so thats probably what you heard in the distance all day and night. If there were really as many hunters as you say it is doubtful that they were killing anything. But It doesn't matter what they were doing out there they have as much right to "your" wilderness as you do. If you are scared of guns sitck to the national parks.

[Michael Skwarczek]

Tut-tut. I mentioned "my favorite" not "my wilderness". The fact is, it's OUR wilderness and what WE do does matter. But as I said, this wasn't a critique of hunting, just a commentary on personal safety during hunting season. So, thanks for your advice comrade; my favorite National Park was lovely this past weekend.

-michael

[Sam Haraldson]

They close chunks of the local backpacker haven up in my parts – the Superior Hiking Trail during deer season. They open parts of the state parks for killing and obviously the Superior National Forest is a battle field as well.

In keeping with Roger's theme (a fellow Tom Lehrer fan I see), here's another hunting song pointing out some of that some of them can be quite the buffoons.

Second Week Of Deer Camp
Da Yoopers

Its The Second Week Of Deer Camp
I Got A Swollen Head
I'M Lying With The Dust Balls
Underneath My Bed

An Icy Breeze Is Blowing In
Through The Tongue And Groove
My Pants Are Frozen To The Floor
And I'M Too Sick To Move

I Didn'T Drink Too Many
Only Thirty Cans Of Beer
It Must Have Been That Last Shot
That Put Me Under Here

Chorus:
It'S The Second Week Of Deer Camp
And All The Guys Are Here
We Drink Play Cards And Shoot The Bull
But Never Shoot No Deer
The Only Time We Leave The Camp
Is When We Go For Beer
The Second Week Of Deer Camp
Is The Greatest Time Of Year

I Remember Playing Poker
That Weasel Musta Won
He'S Wearing My New Swampers
And Sleeping With My Gun

He'S Snoring Like A Chain Saw
The Camp Smells Like A Dump
Someone'S Dirty Underwear
Is Hanging On The Pump

Mukkus In The Wood Box
Eeners Passed Out On The Stove
His Flannel Shirt Is Smoking
I Wonder If He Knows

Chorus

Vitos Crawling Through The Door
I Think He Got Frostbite
He Passed Out In The Outhouse
And He'S Been There Since Last Night

Then Goofus Stumbles Through The Door
He Says He Got A Buck
He Was Coming From The Wayside
And He Killed It With His Truck

Then Muusti Cracks A Beer And Says
Its Time To Celebrate
Goofus Got The First Buck
Since 1968

Chorus

[Author]

Posts