Heading out with some non-UL folks…..gulp…..

[Kattt]

@Steven @Ken,

Thanks :)

They do call me DLF…;)

[Michael]

I’m dying for un update as to how the email was received and what her response was …

After 3 days stuck at home with he NC snow/event cabin fever is setting in!

[Michael L]

Suck it up and take her along.  That is my selfish response.  I want to read the trip report and I’m sure it will be more interesting with the crossfit wonder.

[Steve K]

I’ll offer a counterpoint. As someone who regularly leads groups of mixed experience hikers, your group may end up being as slow as the slowest hiker. I will personally not leave someone who is struggling or flagging behind. If you have to stick to a particular time schedule, do whatever it takes to eliminate this extra weight from your group… or it may end up on you and your mates’ backs.

I have had to take on weight to compensate for others’ lack of lightness or perhaps lack of fitness. I always emphasize light as right with every trip I run but sometimes you get someone who thinks they are being clever by bringing their house with them.

I once traded my sub-18# pack for a 60# pack with a machete/saw, camp chair, tablet, and liter of whiskey packed inside. I even took out a third of my own things from my pack. This being for a two-day, 25-mile, 9000′ hike, I had no choice in order to keep the group’s pace on track. Yes, it was brutal, but even with the weight exchange I was considerably faster than poor Mr. Packrat.

[Nick Gatel]

All of this is why I almost always hike solo. On those extremely rare occasions I hike with others, I am very, very particular on who I am willing to hike with.

Tell the lady you don’t like her and she is no longer invited. Of course consider that I once fired someone because I didn’t like them, told them my dislike was the reason for termination, and I won the case when this unlikeable person filed a claim with the Calif Labor Board. I also fired one of my brothers — twice. Couldn’t perform the work to my satisfaction and was late to work 3 times the second go around. We don’t have to suffer from disagreeable people if we don’t want to.

[Jennifer Mitol]

Nick, your response is my favorite.

 

[Ken Thompson]

Brutal honesty is refreshing.

[DAN-Y]

As you’re hiking along, hum this tune to make you feel better ;)

[Dena Kelley]

“Regardless of what other people bring, you should not have to carry their gear.”–

^^^This. I’d say HYOH and let her HHOH. I’ve seen people carry some monster packs and be fine. I used to carry a monster pack and I was fine. I’m a lot happier now- and I suspect she will be a convert before the trip is finished (even if her pride won’t let her admit it)- but I’ve one heavy packs and I’ve done lighter packs and been fine both ways. She might have a nicer camp set up but I think she’ll have to weigh whether it was worth carrying all that crap. If she’s a crossfit coach, she probably can deal with it, as miserable as it will be. But definitely don’t carry her crap- or her fears- for her. Side note: I used to carry one of those 3 lb expedition first aid kits- until I read (possibly here) that carrying something you don’t actually know how to use is dumb. There was a lot of stuff in that kit that was well beyond my first aid skillset.

[Adam White]

I’m following this thread for the literary value. I mean, “schlubbo?” Really, Bob, is that an actual word?

This thread had me at “schlubbo”, too.

I also fired one of my brothers — twice.

And if “schlubbo” didn’t already capture me, this certainly would have.

5/5 stars for this thread.

My $0.02: I’d vary my approach depending on how “important” this trip was to me. If I really wanted to accomplish objective X, and it seemed reasonably likely that Schlubbette* was going to get in the way of it, I’d use one of the diplomatic responses above to fire her from the trip. If it’s a laid back trip to get out and have fun, I’d go, and let her bring a heavy pack. It’s her choice. I carried a 55 lb pack when I started backpacking, and if you asked me, I’d tell you that I knew what I was doing. Turns out, a 55 lb pack is pretty inconsistent with my typical backpacking goals. But shrinking pack weight was something that had to come from personal experience and experimentation. If she can get the pack where it needs to go in a timeframe that you’ve all agreed will be your pace, more power to her. If she says she can, but ultimately can’t, you’ll have a very justified “I told you so.” Just don’t let it ruin the objectives of your trip.

edit to add: Yeah, definitely wouldn’t carry any of her stuff, or any communal equipment you deem unnecessary (pruning shears, horse repellent, watermelon baller, etc.)

Can’t wait for the TR.

*I thought I was being witty, and feminizing the word “Schlubbo”. But a Google Search for “schlubette” reveals that it definitely is a word; Shesaurus.com** says it’s a “young, stupid woman.” That makes it a lot less funny. So let’s pretend that definition doesn’t exist.

**What is Shesaurus? I’m at work and afraid to click on it.

[Jerry Adams]

tell her you like to blast your radio the whole time

Heavy Metal (or whatever you think she’ll most dislike)

Then she’ll make some excuse to cancel

There’s a movie with Steve McQueen.  He’s engaged.  He changes his mind.  He knows the in laws will not go along with this – shotgun marriage.  Steve concocts a plan to behave so badly that the in laws cancel the wedding.

 

[Alex H]

I am assuming you are headed out on the OML, while it shouldn’t be too hot she is probably used to cooler mountain hiking with plenty of water, not the case in Big Bend.  Ask if she has hiked with 80# before in the hot sun.  The danger, besides ruining your enjoyment, is real in Big Bend due to water weight, hot shadeless conditions and lots of elevation gain and loss.  Over half the folks who start the OML don’t finish.

One bright spot is with the high rainfall year all the springs are running well (short of Boot) but don’t tell her at first.

[Kattt]

One thing I am noticing…. no one here is into collectivism after all ;)

[Michael L]

HAHAHA.  So true.  Should have not edited Kat.  Spot on for so many on here.

[Ben C]

I suspect most of us have done this in varying degrees.  But 60 pounds is pretty impressive.  I have helped carry out gear 3 times, I think.  But I agree to never start with some of her gear.

[Gerry B.]

I don’t know if this is an option for you but I had a similar issue a few years ago and I decided to leave a couple of days early and hiked my own solo hike for three days and then met up with the rest of the group for the last three days.  It kept me from blowing my gasket and endangering forty year friendships.

[Roger Caffin]

no one here is into collectivism [or socialism] after all ;)
I dunno about that. I think it does apply.
‘From each according to their ability’: it’s just that my ability does not run to carrying other peoples’ gear.
‘To each according to their needs’: this includes a thick ear, or a more gentle set-down.

Cheers

[Vincent Vilcinskas]

Jen. I’ve had a few similar experiences. I live near the AT and have met a number of folks that want to get together for hikes of various distances. If I’m involved in the planning or not, I always let it be politely known that I am self sufficient and have no intention of humping anyone’s gear except my own unless someone is injured.  I’ve found that folks perceive hiking from two different perspectives. Casual “hikers” view hiking as a part of going camping. More serious hikers view camping as a part of hiking.  I just remind the “heavy haulers” of the planned distance and terrain between campsites.

[d k]

+1 to what Dena said.

I am SO waiting to hear what comes of the bailout letter…

 

[Michael L]

I don’t know.  I figure somebody that has a good job and makes good money that comes onto a backpacking site and begs for money for a dog so her retirement plan is not interrupted by a month or two can return the karma and carry some group gear without posting about it and acting like a drama queen on the same backpacking site.  But what do I know.  I believe in personal responsibility and taking care of yourself.  I’m not into this collectivism and socialism crap like a lot of you.  So while I’d tell her to take care of herself, I’d think many off you BPL folks would say of course you should pitch in and help each other out.

[Pigeon]

I can’t imagine taking a vacation with a frenemy from work, that sucks.

[Hiking Malto]

I will be heading out in the near future with some traditional Bpers.  Like Nick I do almost all of my hiking solo or with a select group of folks that have very similar hiking styles.  For the upcoming trip, I will meet them at the site the first night.  After hanging with them for the early morning I will likely do a much longer alternative route to the second night camp site.  Then on the hike out I will go my own way.  This allows the social experience without the conflict styles.

As far as carrying group gear???? No way, everyone is self sufficient. Too much could go wrong.

[David Thomas]

“re “schlubbo”      I googled it and got 466 hits, so yes, it is a word, lol.”

BobM, I just googled “penguin nun goat canoe sex act” and got 1,540,000 hits.  So either “schlubbo” is exceedingly rare, or I’m feeling really bad about those penguins.

[David Thomas]

But back on topic:  I’ve taken lots of trips with people who had crazy loads.  But not with people who were being crazy about their loads.  In the early 80’s, we’d lead trips and MOST people had 45- to 55-pound packs for a week-long trip.  There’d be a 65-pound pack or two out of every dozen backpackers. I was the weird one with 29 pounds total weight for 8 days.

The only crazy one who wouldn’t listen to anything was on one of our ski trips.  She knew everything, couldn’t be told anything (and was a physician). Being a physician actually came in handy after she didn’t listen to our advice to get modern X-C bindings, but instead she brought old “rat trap” bindings she already had with little flex and no release mechanism.  Worse than that, they’d been fitted with a spur off the heel that fit into a slot on the ski.  So in a backward-twisting fall, you had a 7-foot lever on your foot good for many hundreds of foot-pounds of torque.  After the fall, being a physician, she readily agreed that, yes, she’d broken her tibia and fibula (later found to be spiral fracture) and would finally accept our help (to splint her and haul her butt back to the road).

[Steven Paris]

“penguin nun goat canoe sex act”

<Sigh> That was the BEST weekend of my life . . .

[Author]

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